The First Rule Of Fight Club Is....... Uhhh, What Was It Again??

I'm always out there, I'm always talking to people...

Folks come up and talk to me on the street, in the gym, out at clubs. Pretty much every where I go.

One of the biggest concerns that people ask me about on a day to day basis is all the media exposure that the community is getting.

"Will this stuff still work if everybody knows about it?? Will women still respond to it??"

I mean, it's a pretty valid question......

You've got a NY Times best seller, a reality TV show, mainstream news and magazine coverage, and possibly even a movie at some point.

It seems like pretty much any guy in his twenties and thirties probably knows about this stuff.

Even people who don't know that I'm "Tyler from Real Social Dynamics" will oftentimes ask me if I've heard of it, at which point I have to decide whether or not to disclose to them my superhero identity (usually I don't, as I find it removes the authenticity out of the interaction and all they want to do is ask questions from that point).

Anyway the issue was a big one for me as well...

Back in 2004 I had this big dilemma. I knew that the community was going to be getting all the mainstream exposure eventually. What should I do??

The issue was that EVEN IF the book wasn't going to be successful, we as a company (RSD) were planning to blow up -- and so the bitter irony was that the ultimate goal of our own company was to cause ourselves to become obsolete.

I mean, think about this......

At 24 years old I'm sitting there, and I've got all these kickass "pick up lines" that I've come up with over the years.

They were really good, like -- bam bam bam -- really consistent.

I couldn't imagine life without them. In fact, I was quite addicted as I felt like they conveyed so many positive qualities about me.

So yeah, it was a big dilemma.

I remember the first time I visited Sydney Australia -- that was when it occurred to me that there might be a cause for concern.

Within about 3 weeks of hitting the clubs we'd "tapped out" most of Darling Harbour, King's Cross, Bondai Beach, and the various venues downtown -- to the point where we'd approached most of the girls out there.

We'd go up to the girls with the same type of opening lines and they'd say "You used that line on us last week!!"

See, the issue is that WHILE there are several million people (and girls) in any given city, there are only so many that are actually involved in the club scene.

Think of it this way: On Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday there are usually ONE OR TWO clubs that are "hot" in any city. Even in big metropolitan cities this tends to be the case.

The clubs are usually frequented by "regulars" who cycle through over about a 2-6 week period.

So... if you go out to the same "Monday night venue" for a few weeks in a row and you're really social, sooner or later you'll probably have met the vast majority of the people in the venue.

The same venue that was a "fresh untapped pool" the first time you went will suddenly be pretty much "repeat sets" from there on out, with maybe a few new people and tourists cycling through.

(I also believe that a club scene replenishes every 2-3 years as the girls in relationships become single, and many of the single/party girls will go into more stable relationships).

Then you've got Thursday through Saturday which usually has a lot more venue selection. But even then over the course of a year you tend to get to know everyone who goes out.

Even in cities like Los Angeles, New York, and London... I tend to have people (especially girls) coming up to me continually saying "Hey Tyler!! Remember me?!?!" within about a year of living there.

In Los Angeles which has about 17 million people I usually had about 1/3 of every girl in the club who knew me by the time I'd lived there for two years. In the "exclusive/trendy" social scenes I knew pretty much the entire crowd.

The most ridiculous was back in Kingston in Canada, where I went to school.

There was only about 150,000 people living there, and at the start of the year I'd have all these fresh new clubs but by the halfway point I'd have girls on the street yelling "You're the Best Friend's Guy!!" and then other totally unrelated girls nearby would overhear it and yell "He used that on you to?? Buuusted!!"

It got to the point where I was always conservative in my approaches because I didn't want to "burn out" my stack of lines unless I was pretty sure it was going to be successful.

Anyway, that was obviously what had me initially concerned.

I mean, if just myself and a few other guys could "burn out" and "overfish" an entire city within such a short period of time, what was going to happen when the entire MAINSTREAM got a hold of this stuff??

It was this totally wack feeling like "I know that I've got these new skills... But eventually the cat is going to get out of the bag and I'm going to become this tacky dude who relies on meeting girls who've never heard of it..."

To deal with this, I sat down my entire team in 2004 for a big meeting that would be the seed of a change in RSD from that point forward.

Basically the gist of it was "Look, we have to find a new way of doing this stuff... Even if I don't release my book for another few years because I'm researching it... Even if we lose initial popularity because we don't have a concrete system... In the longterm the only way we'll survive as an organization is if we kick the habit of all these canned lines and go 100% natural, and then find a potent way of teaching it so that people can replicate our level of results..."

Obviously this was pretty nerve wracking.

For the next 18 months I waded around in the dark talking to girls with this irritating voice in the back of my head yelling "Cummon' man!! You KNOW you can get this girl!! Just use your LINES on her!!"


That's also why I find it hilarious that people will say "Yeah Tyler's a natural now... But that's because he used to use lines and routines so he was able to get the hang of it..."

Yeah right!! Yeah f**king right!!

I had to unwire 3 years worth of "autopilot responses" that I'd cultivated by going of going out 7 nights a week. It took me 2-3 years to become a natural, where it takes most people 1 or 2, simply because I had to spend a whole year "unwiring" my old habits.

My total journey to reach the level I'm at now was 5 years. I don't regret it, but it took me a LOT longer than it takes the average guy these days.

To this day I still deal with "old instincts" to always be the center of attention and frame control people in order to keep my "state" up. All that old wiring will probably never go away entirely, which is one of the reasons I've studied Eastern philosophy to get out of my head (if you're out of your head all redundant/unnecessary thought patterns are basically neutralized -- including negative ones -- which is why it's so useful).

Anyway, nowadays I live in Honolulu which is a city of only about 1 million people.

It's a fun scene but also very, very small compared to what I'm used to.


I've basically met almost every girl in the club scene at some point or other. If this was a few years ago there's no way I could live here because I would have been using the same "lines" over and over, and I'd always have to be asking myself "Have I talked to her yet??"

These days I'm 100% natural, no lines, no routines.

As a result, if I see a girl I've spoken to before I ENJOY it. It's actually in some ways superior to a girl who I've never met. In fact, I basically have a social circle and I look forward to seeing them.

Beyond that there are all sorts of "added benefits" to going natural...:
-You get a LOT more sexual attraction, as opposed to "giggly" attraction
-You never, ever have to be concerned about "running out of things to say"
-You open a lot more consistency because you come across more natural (this is counter-intuitive, but YES you open more consistent)
-You close a lot more often, because you're triggering responses in the girl that are at the core of what makes her feel attracted to you
-You learn to trust in your own instincts, as opposed to what a teacher or guru tells you to do
-You become a "better person" in terms of how you carry yourself as a man

So I've really enjoyed it.

At this point in time I can read the books, watch the shows on TV, and even look forward to a possible movie as a FAN of the material.

I'll go out and see guys using that type of "game" and it doesn't even hit my radar. I'm not doing anything remotely similar to what they're doing, so it's all good.

(To be honest it's kind of funny...)

Still, once in a while I'll bust out a canned opener for old time's sake and it seems like practically every time somebody will yell out "You read the book!! You read the book!!"

In my head it's like "Uhhh, I'm actually the bad guy from the book... But yeah, I did read it..."

I don't know if this is God's way of telling me to NOT go back to using canned material, or if other people are having this issue as well, but regardless I'm very psyched that I'm no longer reliant on it.

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And as a side note......... we all know that "Attraction is not a choice..."

I remember back in 2003 when I made the mistake of teaching a workshop where I said "If you guys are curious what my exact lines are I'll tell you... But you have to promise not to use them because *everyone* will be saying the same thing and it'll mess up the whole night..."

Of course, EVERY SINGLE GUY on the program used the lines when he was out, thinking that the other guys wouldn't use them.

I walk up to this 5'11 Playboy Centerfold and I bust out my canned opener. Her friend starts yelling "He's one of those guys!! He's one of those weird opinion guys!!"

But because I did it better than the other 12 guys who'd used it, she said "I like this one the best!! He's my favourite of those weird guys!!" and we started molesting eachother and all that fun stuff.


(It sounds impressive, but really, Playmates are running around all over the place in Hollywood...)

So yeah, I MORE THAN ANYONE fully "get it" that being busted with the same lines is not the end of the world. You just take it as a "congruence test" and plow through it and it's totally fine.

My issue was that the whole thing was just getting TOO WEIRD. I didn't want to be THAT GUY.

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Anyway, I hope that this serves as an honest account of my experiences.

There are a lot of other teachers in this vast community, and I realize that many of them will have entirely different perspectives on this.

I personally have a lot of respect for ANYBODY who has the jam to teach this stuff live in the field, because it's NOT easy.

All perspectives are valuable, and I say this not to be politically correct but because I really believe it -- It's common sense that you should never get all your advice from just one person/organization, and the guys who have a different perspective have a LOT to offer.

The point that I'm looking to get across is that YES, this stuff is getting out there, and YES, you want to have a strategy to deal with the reality of it.

What I've outlined has been my personal approach --> "becoming a natural".

Other guys may want to customize their approach to their own individual material or whatever, it just depends on what their goals are in all of this.

To answer the big question "Is all the mainstream attention an issue that I have to be concerned about??"

The answer is YES... You DO have to use common sense and deal with it.

Is it an issue that's going to mess up the whole deal??

NO... It's not.

At least, not for the guys who use their intelligence and have a strong sense of indivuality and personal style.

OK, that's it for now.

The Jeffy Show is coming out SOON, btw...

We're launching on October 31, 2007 -- 12PM EST.

It's going to be making major waves in the community, as it's a program that basically covers the elements of the "out of control" natural -- as in the irresistible-to-women Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee, Jimmy Morrison types who've had more adventures than the average guy could conceive of in a given lifetime.

I have a theory that there are two types of guys in this world: Those of us who WISH we were those types of guys, and those of us who have no interest but at least want to learn the SECRETS of those types of guys.

A lot of people have been asking me "Is this going to be the REAL Jeffy??" -- as in the gun-toting, insane maniac??

The answer is YES. The program is NOT toned down for a mass audience. I expect that there will probably be a lot of people pretty shocked by The Jeffy Show.

OTOH, it's had rave reviews from everyone who's seen it, including many who've said it's the best program RSD has ever put out. Probably due to the raw authenticity of it, as well as the lethally informative nature of everything that Jeffy has to offer.

I guess we'll see what happens.

Be on the lookout for a lot of very cool promotion that will be coming out in the upcoming weeks -- including Jeffy "taking over" the blog with some monster articles that you should be very excited about.

Look for those very soon, and thanks for reading!!


Tyler