Igniting YOUR Nimbus -- the FAQ

Eating at a natural food spot in Mexico... Yes, I look like a dork as usual.

Now let's get to it.

What is the nimbus??

The word "nimbus" is basically an old joke created by Jeffy -- refering to "having an ON night" or "being in state".

A quick look in the dictionary reveals:

nimbus \NIM-buhs\, noun:

1. (Fine Arts) A circle, or disk, or any indication of radiant light around the heads of divinities, saints, and sovereigns, upon medals, pictures, etc.; a halo.

2. A cloud or atmosphere (as of romance or glamour) that surrounds a person or thing.

So yes, like most RSD jargon, you're just taking an analytical concept and putting a twist on it for self-amusement purposes.

How do you create attraction just by "having an ON night" or "state" alone??"

Basically walk up, start talking, and hold your state while "self amusing" -- all the while progressively "escalating" and "pushing the envelope".

When she tries to turn her attention elsewhere, you find it funny and keep pulling her attention back to you.

Likewise, when she tries to mess up the vibe by being all serious or non-responsive to the positive frame you're setting, you just "hold your frame" and eventually she finds it more FUN than hers and gets drawn in.

Why does this work??

It's natural. Guys have been doing it for millions of years.

Basically it's just the way that things work.

Is it true that when you're having an "on night" and "in state" you can say virtually ANYTHING and it will work as good or better than using the best pick up lines??"

Yes.

How do you "get in state"??

You get "in state" via two ways:

1- YOUR OVERALL BELIEF SYSTEM: Your sense of who you are, outlook on life, the emotions you're generally addicted to, etc.

This is like the stable way that you generally feel from day-to-day. You achieve this via "inner game work".

2- SPIKING YOURSELF: Using singing, playfulness, games, bringing the party, etc.

This is an actual "outer game" quick fix that you can use when you're out.

It is still absolutely solid because it gets you the feel for it and it's something that even people with a strong state do anyway.

Why not just use canned lines??

Canned lines can be good for some people, constrictive for others.

I've worked with students who require them because they are linear-thinkers and respond better to a step-by-step structure, and others who stop using them and find it an absolute epiphany.

So do whatever works for you.

The whole idea of Real Social Dynamics is you aren't using a "cookie cutter method" -- but rather "being your own guru" and cultivating the ability to determine what works best for YOU.

The one thing I WOULD say is to be realistic with yourself.

If you're using canned lines as a personality shield to lesson the sting of rejection (because you can say "It's just the delivery of my lines") or because you're too lazy to get good at spontaneous conversation -- you're really holding back your longterm development.

OTOH if you find them helpful, keep using them.

So why do people use canned lines if they can just go natural??

What canned lines can accomplish is getting you "giggly attraction" from the girl, which then gives you a bit of validation and puts you in state.

Many people wind up wrongly believing that it was the LINES that got them the attraction, when it fact it was usually:

1- They said something that made the girls giggle.

2- The giggling gave them a shot of validation.

3- The shot of validation put them in state, which then attracted the girl.

Some guys will even come up with enough "lines" to keep the girl giggling throughout the interaction, which they rely on to maintain their "state" from open to sex.

So what's the "problem" with that??

There are two issues that for many people will crop up.

The first is that it continually reinforces that women like you for your canned lines, as opposed to "liking you just for you".

This has far reaching consequences to your psychology, the least of which that even after several years of approaching with canned lines you STILL cannot approach a girl and get her attracted just by introducing yourself (which I experienced myself, and was pathetic).

Think of it like "drawing washboard abs on a flabby belly with a magic marker" or "painting a thin veneer of game over your core, making you a more tactical version of your previously women-repellent self".

The second issue is what happens beyond the nightclub.

At the nightclub the canned lines can be fantastic. You use them and get girls giggling like crazy.

Once you go to call the girl on the phone, however, you are still in the habit of relying on "giggly validation from girls" to get yourself in state -- and so you wind up dropping the ball on the phone, on the day2, in the bedroom, etc.

As a result you see a lot of guys who study "success with women" who have really strong "opening game" but never wind up getting the girl.

Many also become "response junkies" where they constantly need to "frame control" people for reactions in order to maintain their state -- which can be socially abrasive.

Is it possible to use canned lines without experiencing these issues??

It depends on the person.

I think that some people have no problems with it at all, others have major problems.

Bear in mind that even opening a conversation with "hello" is still using a canned line. One way of looking at it, in fact, is that if you're going to be using canned lines ANYWAY you had might as well at least make them good.

The other side of the coin, however, is that when you've got the "nimbus" ignited using canned lines is like giving a pistol to the Incredible Hulk. It's just useless and redundant.

Beyond that, canned lines tend to get you analytical and "put you in your head" which is not condusive to getting in state.

OK so what are the big advantages to going "natural"??

What's amazing about the mind is that it is very adaptable.

By going natural, it forces you to get your confidence and state "self-generated" without crutches.

You will be AMAZED that when you have no crutch but STILL APPROACH ANYWAY that eventually your entire psychology changes.

That's because at first your brain tries to stop you by leaving you tongue-tied, but eventually your mind just slips a gear and says "Alright, alright, if you're doing this anyway I'll give you access to all that funny/cool stuff you have stuck up in here... Damn it man, you are persistant... Here you go!!"

And suddenly you have this FLOOD of awesome things to say to girls, all of which are more congruent and attractive than you ever had before.

This habit then becomes ENGRAINED from a few months and then years of going out, and your personality changes entirely -- or as we say "deep identity level change".

The result??

Imagine your best night of the past year.

Now imagine that you maintained that best night momentum on the phone, on the day2, back at your place, etc.

That's why this stuff has taken off so much, why so many guys are racking up success stories, and why we're seeing so many guys going home with girls during the bootcamps.

It also gives you an incredible authenticity in your day-to-day social interaction.

So when you see people who really love this stuff, try to understand that there's a good reason for it.

Isn't this just marketing?? Aren't you just trying to distinguish yourself??

No, teaching a "non-magic-pill" based game makes marketing a lot more challenging.

While people in the community may be open to it, most of the mainstream will keep asking "What about the lines?? What about the lines??"

Regardless, I personally respect every well-known teacher in the "success with women" industry because fundamentally they are teaching ABUNDANCE and TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY -- and this is a message that society desperately needs to hear.

Understand that most of the mainstream cannot distinguish between the various philosophies anyway. All they know is that we are the "pick up guys" and that we teach you how to pick up girls.

At some point if we decide to do more marketing and press, our initial message may have to look more like the magic-pill "first you do x, then y, then z" type thing because that's the only paradigm that most of the mainstream can wrap their minds around.

In the meantime, we teach this stuff because it's fun and it's what we've found to work.

Take it or leave it.

But at very least learn everything you can and try it YOURSELF before you form an opinion.

OK that's cool, but if YOU learned the game by using "canned lines" doesn't that mean that I have to as well??

That right there is the most common objection -- or excuse not to at least GIVE IT A SHOT -- but bear this in mind.

Most of the new RSD instructors who did NOT learn the game via routines have stronger skillsets than the "old guard" like Jeffy and myself.

Jeffy and I struggle to keep up with these new kids, and that's because they've had the "right software" plugged into their heads from Day 1.

That doesn't change the fact that Jeffy and I are more experienced TEACHERS, and also the higher-profile "figureheads" of the organization -- but guru-hype aside the guys we've trained as instructors in the past two years have consistently surpassed us.

OK I am scared of routines. I will not use them anymore.

NO!!

Again, the whole point of RSD is to "Be your own guru".

Sometimes guys on bootcamps will try to "bond" with me on the topic that they dislike routines, but they do not UNDERSTAND routines nor have they TRIED routines.

Don't just parrot back what you heard from this blog, otherwise "social conditioning" just becomes "RSD conditioning" -- the same mindless avoidance of THINKING that you were engaging in previously.

Go out and make your own decisions. I just teach based on my own experience. You have to go out and get your own.

OK, so does this "New RSD" stuff conflict with the older stuff like what's in "Foundations"??

It depends on how you look at it.

First of all, I created Foundations to be a straightforward program that teaches the essentials of "outer game".

I believe that tactics are still responsible for at least 20% of your success.

Stuff like how to open properly, how to deal with logistics, qualifying, setting up a day2 -- all this stuff does not magically just happen when you have great inner confidence.

Now you might say because I offered some lines in Foundations that it conflicts with, say, The Blueprint Decoded -- but you have to understand that different people come from different skill levels.

If I give NO EXAMPLES of ANY lines at all, many people will simply be too stumped to get out of the house.

As a result, any RSD program will always give examples of stuff we've said in the past with great success. We may not make it the major focus of the program, but if you require it to get you moving then by all means USE IT!!

Then for people who are at a level where they can handle talking to people without a script, they can hop over to the straight up pure-spontaneous style.

Again it's up to you.

Alright so I'm starting to understand the "pros and cons". What are the main principles that I should start to look at??

Some big RSD principles are:

-The self is always coming through.

-Being good with women is not something you DO, but something you ARE (this is an old school community concept that's been around for years, which we've adopted with full force).

-Self esteem over ego.

-Offering value via self-amusement.

-Crossing the "indifference threshold" and letting go of the outcome entirely.

-Bringing the party.

And countless others.

You can learn about these through free resources like the newsletter, the forum RSD Nation, and the blog -- and obviously the RSD programs like The Blueprint Decoded, The Jeffy Show, Transformations, and Foundations cover them far more in depth.

Any last words??

Of course!! :)

I wrote this up because a lot of people have questions, and I'll probably put it in RSD Wiki and then update it from time to time.

The final thought I'd leave you with is that oftentimes in the community the "pick up lines VS natural" can spark a strong emotional response in people -- including a lot of fruitless arguing.

There are other schools of thought on this, including a lot of super intelligent guys who think differently from me -- and notice they're out there living their lives and having fun, not really worried about whether I agree with them or not!!

Look, if you feel an emotional response then it can only be that you're relying on OTHER PEOPLE AGREEING WITH YOU as a crutch for your own belief system.

You do not need ME or ANYBODY ELSE to agree with you if you know from first-hand experience that what you're doing is what works for you.

So forge your own path.

Have fun!!


Tyler

Public Service Announcement -- Keeping It Raw VS Catering To The Masses

So I've been out in Mexico this month and I've got a ton ideas that I've been dying to share.

Before I get to that though, I wanted to write a short note about what it means to study RSD.

I teach RSD primarily out of my own interest in the topic.

When I write an article, I don't consider whether or not the "masses" will like it or even if they'll fully understand it (although I do my best to break things down comprehensively).

Primarily, my main goal is to congele and crystalize the ideas I'm working on to "get better with women" in my own head -- because when I express myself in writing it makes the ideas *real* for me.

I personally recommend writing every single day, because for me, it has been one of the most important parts of my own development.

Now as a result of this, what you learn from RSD tends to be authentic and raw.

The core difference between RSD and probably most other self-development companies out there is that literally nothing that comes out of RSD is for the purpose of "creating product" -- but rather, it is the byproduct of our own interest in developing *ourselves*.

We do this for our own interest, and then pass the info along to you.

If you've gravitated towards RSD (and many people don't -- but if you have) then that's probably the reason why.

At the same time, you also have to be aware of what this means.

I constantly like to cover new ground -- and that means "pros" and "cons".

Most self-development gurus rely on a steady flood of newbies and will regurgitate the same basic "marketable message" over and over -- because newbies pay $$ whereas oldsters usually think too highly of themselves to seek out external advice.

Now before you jump to criticize this, be aware that ANY organization's survival relies on CASHFLOW which means that you have to market yourself effectively.

So don't be a hater...

In my case, however, I'm very lucky to be in a situation where I don't need to rely on that because RSD is a relevant enough company that I can get away with it.

Personally I will RARELY go back over previous ground I've already thoroughly covered, for the purpose of getting more newbies on the RSD bandwagon.

I just CANNOT do this. It is too boring for me.

Maybe I'll do it once in a while, here and there, like in a presentation to a room who doesn't know much about RSD.

But for the most part, when I'm sitting there regurgitating the SAME OLD MATERIAL I feel my chest constricting like my life is going "tick tick tick" and I'm losing important time I could be using towards a creative legacy.

(Even with the bootcamps I usually teach a 30% skeleton of foundational material and then about 70% new material that I will customize to the individual).

Where the world will go in the future, I have no idea. Maybe humanity will not survive another 500 years.

But if it does, I envision RSD as an entity that produced a wealth of creative material that people will want to study for years to come.

Call it arrogant, call it self-indulgent, call it what you want. Everyone needs to have a goal to shoot at in life. That's one of mine.

Now as a result of this, the "true fans" benefit and the newbies inevitably get befuddled.

I've written 4000+ articles on "outer game" at this point, and put out "Foundations" which is probably the most compehensive "step-by-step / how to" program on getting girls I'll ever put out.

We've also updated all our outer game material, including in "Transformations" which has a nice mix, and "The Jeffy Show" which has Jeffy's outer game from topic to bottom.

If you've been through this stuff, you're probably very psyched that I'm not rehashing the "same old thing" over and over.

At the same time, if you're a newbie whose sole source of info is RSD Nation and this blog, then you might be a bit confused.

For example, all this "New RSD" stuff might cause you to believe that you can IGNORE the "outer game" of meeting women entirely because I don't write as many new articles about it anymore -- or maybe even that outer game is actually BAD.

And see, even though it is NOT my responsibility to hold the entire community by the hand and remind everyone constantly "go back and look at the foundational material" -- I will acknowledge that I have a level of influence in setting the trends.

So I'm saying right here (and this will likely go into a compilation of articles that comes with the book at some point) -- just because I'm not writing as many NEW articles on a specific topic does not mean that the older topics are no longer still important.

Educate yourself. You will be the better for it.

Anyway, that was a quick "public service announcement" as right now the topics that interest me to write about are as "un-picking-up-girls" related as ever.

You can't please everybody in life.

And if I rehashed the same material, people would bitch and moan about it in the same way that they sometimes bitch and moan that I'm interested in covering new areas.

Of course, for the veteran "POOOAH" this stuff is usually more effective and potent than yet another article on how to "approach and extract" -- but hey, never say I don't cater to newbies, because I've got a friggin' LIBRARY of newbie material that's as vast as anybody's.

I just don't rehash it over and over in my latest stuff.

I'm evolving and I hope you are too.

Stay tuned.


Tyler

Robbie Williams Amusing Himself

Was linked to this on RSD Nation today.

Somewhat on the harsh side, but I absolutely love this regardless.


Tyler

PS: I've been travelling Mexico all month with a piss poor internet connection -- usually in cafes where the keyboard is too stiff and unusable to compose long articles. Things will be back to normal shortly.

PPS: There are a ton of phonecalls and emails I haven't returned this month, including to close friends who are probably wondering where I went. I'll be catching up on those this week.

The Infinite Well

Good morning...

How would you like to ALWAYS have an infinite well of conversation to meet girls with or even people in general??

It's very possible. ALL of the "top guys" have this ability and it's based on a key understanding that's deceptively simple and counter-intuitive.

We'll call it the "Infinite Well Distinction".

CHODE THINKING:

"I need to have the right things to say ... I need to think really hard to find the perfect lines or even rehearse them."

RSD THINKING:

"I've got a literal INFINITE WELL of conversation located up in my brain ... All I need to do is EXPLODE THE DAM and the words will come flooding out."

---

What's the difference??

It means that when you go out you aren't stressing out about "what to say" -- ever.

Instead you just go out and "unstifle" yourself and cross the "indifference threshold" and "get in state" -- and as a result the words come out of you like NO OTHER.

This knowledge is what gives you full confidence every single night that you go out.

And again, be your own guru.

Rather than looking for it to be spelled out in the usual 10 page diatribe, go out and figure out what this means for yourself. It's really very straightforward.

Have fun!!


Tyler

PS: Have you been over to www.alexattitude.com yet??

All I can say is W-O-W.

The "Key" -- Your Most Instantly Results-Producing, Super Subtle Distinction

Want to meet yourself a dime this week?? Here's a quick one for you...

This post is actually "highly advanced" though to a newbie will appear simple.

THE CHODE WAY:

1) Try to entertain the girl

2) Girl responds

3) Dude goes into state via her validation

THE RSD WAY:

1) Self amuse

2) Go into state because you've amused yourself

3) State draws girl into your reality, lead the interaction from there

Be your own guru: figure out what it means for yourself.

Try spending a week pondering the topic and the ramifications in ALL your social interactions.

'Nuf said.


Tyler

Outer Game Extravaganza

Welcome and good day.

It’s the end of the weekend and I want to crank out a quick rant on the often RSD-neglected topic of “Outer Game”.

The basic distinction (as originally coined by tennis coach Timothy Gallwey) is that there are TWO “games” going on in any sport: the outer game of all the motions, steps, and techniques, and then the inner game of belief systems, mental filters, and emotional states.

More or less...

(Here’s a short video of Tim Gallwey on the topic of connecting with your higher self for answers as opposed to looking for it from gurus -- just if you’re curious who this guy is or what he looks like.)


Anyway as we’ve already beaten to death, when it comes to success with women the inner game tends to be the highest impact in terms of your overall results -- simply because CONFIDENCE is literally what attracts women.

For example I was out with a buddy this weekend who grew up as a Jehovah witness for 10 years and had to approach people continually therefore fully numbing himself to rejection.

At age 11 he was adopted by marriage into the family of one of the most prominent self-development organizations in existence, further pounding him with rock solid inner game.

This dude is not a “pick up artist” and therefore has very little “outer game” in the sense of formal techniques -- but could attract basically any girl that he chose simply by going up and amusing himself and asking questions and making silly small talk.

He laughs and laughs, all day long... All the energy in the world, it's like being out with Stifler from American Pie on a rampage.

I can’t stress enough how EASY this guy makes it... and yet, with the implementation of “outer game” he also gained a lot of useful knowledge about the LOGISTICS of taking an interaction from open all the way to the end.

One of his sticking points, for example, is that most of his friends aren’t able to keep up with him.

He winds up eclipsing them (and putting them into "spectator mode" where they just sit there) because when he talks he’s just more self-amusing and charismatic than they are.

This often results in him losing the girl he likes because she chooses to walk off with her friend who's bored of dude's tongue-tied associates.

A quick tweak: Send in the friend in first so that he gets the “brownie points” of being the one who had the spontaneity to approach, then once he’s hooked attention just join in and quickly split the four-way conversation into a two-way conversation so that the friend’s girl doesn’t get distracted.

Basic outer game...

See, even if you have the ability to generate insane and over-the-top attraction with a woman just by CONFIDENCE ALONE, there is still the continual issue of “logistics” to deal with.

Is she walking down the street with her headphones on??

Is she at the venue with long time friends who will irrationally judge her negatively for going home with you??

Is her cell phone ringing like crazy when she’s back at the house messing around??

These are all issues of OUTER GAME.

I’ve beaten this stuff to death in the 2 hour free audio that comes when you sign up for Jeffy’s newsletter (www.realsocialdynamics.com/newsletter.asp) as well as in the DVD program “Foundations” (www.getfoundations.com). You can also find lots of articles on them in the Articles section on RSD Nation (www.rsdnation.com).

Oftentimes I’m asked if “Outer game is still relevant??” and as you can see the answer is ABSOLUTELY YES.

If you’re looking at me personally as a dude who is "inner game focused" my "outer game" is still tweaked and honed to the max from 6 years of going out.

This isn’t “Line number 1... Line number 2... Take away number 1...”

That’s not my style, I don’t do that, and in fact I don’t DELIBERATELY do ANYTHING to generate a response IN THE GIRL.

Rather, I go out and “be myself” and the ability to do this is what I rely on to create attraction.

The question however comes down to “What does it mean to be yourself??”

Is being a needy, desperate chode the REAL YOU??

Is reading on the Real Social Dynamics blog that you should act like yourself and then doing it to get approval being the real you??

How about going out in a bad mood and then complaining and dragging people down just because you feel like it??

Well, I don’t think that ANY of those “you’s” are the real you.

The “real you” is that HIGHER SELF that’s inside of you, and when you connect with it, you’re being yourself. Your best self.

Now how does this move us into the outer game – the approach, the phone number, the move to your place, etc etc??

It’s really very straight forward, so perhaps what we need here is a hyper-quick outer game tutorial.

STEP 1 – THE APPROACH

Walk up and start amusing yourself. Simple.

The key here is that you need to get used to making yourself laugh.

If you walk up and you’re just making yourself laugh, the girls will instantly be into it.

One of my favourites from the other night: Walk up and flex my muscles, move into a Greek Olympian God pose, followed by silly Brazilian imitation style grinding for 5 seconds.

Stop. Look in the eyes. “Hi there. Who are you?”

So... utterly... ridiculous...

Girls laughing hysterically. Why??

When a man is uncontrollable and self-amused and acting through his own intentions he then becomes attractive, and when girls are attracted they naturally laugh.

Is this a dancing monkey or entertainer frame?

No.

Why not? Keep reading.

STEP 2 – CREATE ATTRACTION

Self amusement is caused by a change in where you reference your reality – internally or externally.

Most people crack a joke, look to the girl to see if she’ll laugh, and THEN decide whether or not what they said was funny.

They’re joking around as a subtle form of “approval seeking” which cuts down and undermines their own humour.

KEY: DO NOT TRY TO MAKE THE GIRL LAUGH. SIMPLY MAKE YOURSELF LAUGH.

THE GIRL DOES NOT WANT YOU TO ENTERTAIN HER. SHE WANTS A TRIP INTO *YOUR* REALITY, AND THAT MEANS BEING EXPRESSIVE OF WHAT IS FUNNY TO *YOU*.

Even if what you’re saying isn’t “objectively funny” she will laugh hysterically, uncontrollably.

And if she doesn’t KNOW why what you’re saying is funny because it’s not the type of humour that she’d normally laugh at, she’ll sit there saying “I don’t even know why I’m laughing!! You’re so funny I don’t even know why!!”

Beyond that, I recommend adopting a sort of Zen view where EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS FUNNY.

Choose to believe in this or not, but it will make you wickedly effective with women. Scary good.

Notice here that all this is fully integrated into your natural personality.

Instead of being the sour-grapes SOB who walks around depressed, negative, bitchy, be the positive fun and self-amused dude who brings value to every single person he interacts with.

I had a German student the other night with wicked game but who lacked in being overly expressive with his self-amusement.

As an exercise I had him do a retarded-sounding-laugh after every sentence where he’d say “Heeh heeh heeh...”

It sounded demented.

Guess what though?? In spite of it he beamed with fun and positivity. It’s not a permanent mode of being for him, but an exercise just to get him in the right state of mind.

This is different from the “laughing at your own jokes” to EASE PRESSURE AND RELIEVE TENSION.

Dry humour can be wickedly sharp when you don’t laugh at your own jokes because it amps up tension, but there is also a way to laugh at your own jokes that shows self amusement and lack of neediness to whether or not other people find it funny. Be the latter.

(Lastly, notice that the WORDS themselves are not creating attraction.... they're just keeping her there feeling comfortable while NIMBUS AND POLARITY are doing the attraction work for you effortlessly -- she is feeling lit up around you just by being in your presence).

STEP 3 – MOVE GIRL AROUND

Now while the girl is ENTHRALLED in your reality, which is sooooooooooo easy once you get the hang of it, the next thing to do is swap her around into various environments.

Boom boom boom, she’s inside with you, outside, different rooms of the club, etc etc...

Guess what?? Now the two of you have history together. A brief, but at least somewhat crystallized and substantial bond.

Nice. During this time she also sees how you interact with other people, including the dickhead guys who might try to snatch her attention off of you.

Be cool and she sees all this, and it tells her that you know how to handle yourself socially which is very attractive and important for her to see.

STEP 4 – TIME TO GO TO THE RESTAURANT AND THEN HOME

Notice here that YOU are the one leading the reality.

It is TOTALLY NORMAL that you go to a restaurant after the club closes. Likewise to go home.

You call this the “this happens all the time attitude”. Use it and move forward.

STEP 5 – ESCALATION

Whether you want to...

A) Barrel through the kiss with the girl within the first 30 seconds...

B) Smoothly wait until she signals you part way through the interaction...

or

C) Deliberately hold off on contact until late in the game to escalate emotional tension...

...that's entirely up to you.

Some guys like to makeout within a minute or so just to get it out of the way.

How to do this?? Spark HARD attraction.

“Duhhhhh, Tyler how do I spark hard attraction??”

It’s called NIMBUS.

Being FULLY IN THE MOMENT, and FULLY IN YOUR OWN REALITY.

Again, you walk up and boom boom boom you are just SO FRIGGIN’ FUNNY and SO HAPPY in your own reality that NO GIRL COULD NOT BE ATTRACTED.

It is physically impossible for this not to work. The only girls who don’t like it are the ones who are insecure or whose parents just died or whatever.

The reason you don’t spark hard attraction with most girls is usually one of the following:

1) She detects “incongruence” because you’re trying to put on a “persona”.

2) You are “out of state” because you aren’t comfortable in the environment.

3) You’re looking for her reactions to you to pump your state rather than drawing state from within and offering value outwards (IE: you are in chode-reaction-seeking mode instead of experiencing the natural good feelings in your own body that occur when you open your awareness up to the present moment).

4) You lack your own standards and values and look to women to dictate your reality to you.

As long as you aren’t engaging in this nonsense you will get attraction.

Overly simple??

No. You’re just being overly complicated.

Now if you want to make out within 30 seconds just wait for her to start laughing and then lean in and kiss her. If you’re too scared then you can make an excuse like “You remind me of....... Wait a sec (frame her face with your hands like a picture frame) close your eyes....” and then kiss.

Remember that if you do that last one then DO NOT do the classic retard newbie move where you jump back out of fear for her reaction when she opens back up her eyes.

Keep there totally stable FEELING GOOD IN YOUR BODY by being in a semi-meditative enthusiastic state and she will laugh hysterically.

Now if the girl is resisting the kiss it can also be a result of her not feeling qualified to be with you, which points to a need to say some positive things about her.

Some girls are self-hating and negative and can’t piece it into their realty that you really like them, so in that case you can say “You don’t deserve this cause you’re so crazy, but I like you anyway... I don’t even know why I just do...”

This sidesteps the logical reasons because she’s unable to see why anyone would like her, so the only other route is emotional.

Alright so you’ve made out with the girl?? So what?? What now??

She’s kissed you, it basically means nothing. Most girls makeout with like hundreds of guys a year. They’ll make out with anyone who’s fun and non-needy and escalates confidently because they enjoy physical contact as much if not significantly more than guys do -- heck, they'll even make out with OTHER GIRLS most of the time if they're feeling silly enough.

The next step is to just lay back and be cool. Keep chatting and joking around and self amusing like it never happened, because for all intents and purposes, it didn’t.

Now what if you want to hold back to fuel tension and let the “Does he like me or not??” escalate in the girl’s mind for flirtation purposes??

That’s fine also. Just keep evaporating physical boundaries by engaging contact during laughter high points and then disengaging while she’s still totally comfortable and having fun.

Boom, totally natural, this shouldn’t be even something you think about because women do it to each other and to guys naturally (because they aren’t all stifled and socially scared like most guys are).

Then later back at home on a high point you can go for it at your own convenience.

Key here is to NOT be the delusional newbie who sees the window and doesn’t take it, using the “I was waiting to build tension” as a nonsense excuse.

Always bear in mind that male/female attraction is very much a dance with specific steps, which is basically guy interacts in front of girl, girl gives guys signals that she wants slight escalation, guy continues to interact in front of girl, girl gives more signals, and so on and so forth all the way to sex.

If as a guy you miss one of these steps the window for escalation will typically close and NEVER, EVER open back up (if you've ever had a girl sleep in your bed and you didn't "do anything" in order to be a gentleman and found that she wouldn't return your phonecalls after, then you've experienced this first hand... you were a douchebag who dissed her by screwing up the dance).

It's cool to keep tension dialed but just remember that it has to be from a position of CHOICE where she can tell that you aren't sure about her yet, not out of being too socially inept to read the play.

(NOTE: Sometimes you have to push the flow through the clogged pipeline by playfully escalating ahead of her schedule, and sometimes you go too fast and she doesn't like it but it's all good if you just lay off and give her space, keep interacting and then wait for the next signal.... it doesn't matter HOW SMOOTH you are, there will always be a few missteps that occur and that's TOTALLY FINE so long as you're cool about it and keep moving the interaction forward non-needy and fun).

Alright now as far as sex goes, well, I’ll leave that to you guys to figure out on your own.


As always it’s a combination of LIGHT and FUN pressure without ever being a creepo or weird.

If the girl is having fun then she’ll keep coming back to you and jumping on you even if she’s giving you the dose of mandatory token resistance to fuel your male chauvinistic delusion that she doesn’t do this all the time.

Make sense?? Good.

The last thing I’d say is that you’ve always got remember that you’re offering a gift here.

Any girl you hook up with should be able to brag about it to her friends if she wants to, feel good about it, know that she got with a SUPER FLY COOL dude.

This understanding alleviates you of any internal resistance in terms of taking the right steps forward.

Have fun!!


Tyler

Is Outer Game Still Relevant??

Sometimes I'm asked.........

"If you have your inner game fully dailed -- coming from a place of core confidence, self amusement, and real self esteem -- is outer game still relevant??"

The short answer: YES.

There's a lot of confusion on this because when you're coming from a place where you're fully centered, self-forgetting and fully expressive of your masculinity (as dorky as that last one sounds) then you can safely say about 80-90% of what the dating community calls "outer game" becomes redundant and obselete.

The simple reason why??

Have you ever had one of those nights when you were so "ON" that anything and everything you said just ROCKED??

Even if what you were saying wasn't "all that" -- it just hit and the girls loved it??

Well if that's the case, then the obviously "hip" thing to do these days is figure out how to have those types of nights ALL THE TIME.

Trendy??

Yes... even as trendy as the late nineties pop sensation N'Sync.

The fact of the matter however is that this is proven to be a phenomenal approach to your success with women.

So why is outer game still absolutely relevant then??

Well to me, more than anything, a lot of it is LOGISTICS.

"Inner game" is what causes attraction, outer game is what allows you to move things from open to a close.

For example on bootcamp last weekend (what's up Fedz!!) there was an instance where the student was making out with a girl very heavily for about 10 minutes only to have her pulled away by her brother.

His INNER GAME was dialed which allowed her to become attracted without having to "do anything" in the traditional sense (other than open and start moving his mouth) -- but from an outer game perspective he needed to STEP UP and take DECISIVE ACTION to ensure that he'd hang onto his girl in the hectic nightclub environment.

The solution: I jumped in and started yelling random funny statements and accusations to hook back her attention, dragged her back off of the brother and onto the student.

Basic outer game...

Next up I befriended the brother and cooled him off from all the nonsense and threats of violence he was making, while allowing the student to proceed to move things forward with the girl.

It's really easy stuff, but you DO have to know how to do it.

To me that's what "outer game" is all about, at least by my own way of looking at it.

Anyway I'm planning to cover a bit more on the topic this week.


Tyler

Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster

Aaaaaah, another glorious night out. Isn't it lovely?? It sure is...... :)

I'm going to rip off an article before bed, no editing or any of that, so take it or leave it.

Alright so today I want to talk a bit about how to view success with women, and the way to make yourself lethally effective in all situations.

First up, the "game" in superficial environments like nightclubs is oftentimes similar to hockey or soccer.

There's the ball that you want to get possession of, the other team (intrusive chodes / haters / etc...), and yourself. Maybe even a referee if you want to count the bouncer.

Now as you know, most dudes out there are straight up FULL CHODE EXTREME.

Is the term "chode" negative? No.

It's just an individual who has a weak sense of reality and looks to others to tell them how to feel about themselves. If a girl doesn't react to them in the way they expect they feel "bad" and "deflated" and "sad". Their behaviours operate from this ill-layed foundation.

That's chode. It's a descriptive term like calling a penguin a penguin, but if you want to avoid labelling and be a bit nicer sounding you could say "This INDIVIDUAL has CHODLEY BEHAVIOURS, acts CHODISH, and suffers from severe CHODISM..."

Now......

Most dudes aren't really playing to "win" -- they're just trying to get through the night without feeling bad emotions (or trying to avoid pain).

It's a pretty pathetic mode of existence, but it is what it is. We all have to learn to get past it.

You've got to be different from that. Stand out from that.

In your head it's all about the "Pickup Algorithm" --> which is basically all the behaviours that maximize the result that you're looking for.

The "game" is basically like soccer. If you're talking to a girl and you feel a real "connection" with her and she starts talking to a cooler or more charismatic guy (or one who's acting that way at the specific time) you don't take it all personally like "Buu.... Buuutt..... I thought we had a CONNECTION together??"

Instead you just figure the dude has taken possession and you need to MAN UP and take it back.

Remember, YOU DO NOT KNOW THIS PERSON. She's just doing whatever she feels like doing, and she feels like going for the coolest guy she can find. So what?? It's her right and she owes you absolutely nothing. Man up and BE the cooler guy.

Likewise, let's say that you see a girl in a situation that's practically impossible to pull her out of. Say that she's surrounded by a big group of rowdy dudes looking to step up and "defend her honor" her because they really have a secret crush.

Obviously it's somewhat of a weak situation. Maybe 20% chance of pulling her out of there for a bite to eat or whatever, even with all the group-tactics and yada yada yada...

Still, that 20% in your mind is obviously a FAR HIGHER percentage than the ZERO percent chance if you dont' approach at all.

This same mindset has to pervade every aspect of the game for you, like when a girl goes back to her friends and the attraction isn't sticking that well -- you STILL hit her up with something silly when you see her later in the night and take another shot.

It's not "What will make my emotions feel OK??" because as a MAN good emotions always have to be SELF GENERATED. That being the case, it's "What has the higher chance of sparking up chemistry with this girl??"

That's the ONLY consideration as you're "in the moment". That's IT.

Now obviously a lot of guys will furrow their brow reading this and say "I don't want to be one of those guys..."

That's fine. That's all good. I used to be the same way.

The thing is though, and really consider this, when you're single you've got to be friggin' SHAMELESS about all this.

Like, you know how oftentimes the waitress will flirt with you and it's obvious it's just good natured sass and she isn't REALLY interested??

Well guess what??

The guys I know who get by far the MOST success will ALWAYS interpret this in their minds as an indicator-of-interest.

It's called a "self fulfilling prophecy". If you've never heard of it then look it up.

The guys who get the best results have fully internalized the "IT'S ALWAYS ON" state of mind.

We're talking "Pepe Le Pieu" style here...

Did that girl across the street shoot a millisecond glance at you?? It's ON.

Did the parking lot attendant smile when you paid? She wants you to ask what she's doing later.

Did some chick yell an obnoxious comment? Obviously she wants attention and it would be rude to ignore.

THAT is how it's got to be when you're single, because if you want a quality girlfriend you need girls CYCLING through your bedroom continually until you get a girl that you like.

It took me YEARS to find a quality relationship. Guy will say to me "Wow man, you must really know how to have a relationship!!"

Uhhh, no. It's just that I took my time figuring out what I really wanted and SELECTING the right girl.

I remember back in the day sometimes dudes used to rib me about how I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I could see why they'd think that and respect their opinions, but I was like "Naw, I'm waiting for the right girl.... Any time I spend with a girl I've already hooked up with and I know it's not going anywhere is just time being taken away from the quest to meet the girl who I bounce off of the right way..."

Funny enough I'm 3 years into my relationship and the EXACT SAME dudes haven't been able to maintain theirs. Again, no disrespect, just an observation of what I think produces the best results.

It's called VOLUME. Keep it moving, date date date, until you get the girl that you like.

Now in terms of this personal odyssey, DO NOT handicap yourself by caring what people think of you.

It's funny because so many guys are so caught up in caring what people think of them and they don't see that PEOPLE ARE TOO CAUGHT UP WITH THEMSELVES to pay any attention.

Just having this knowledge is like having the key to the whole matrix. Once it fully "clicks" you just look at other people so preoccupied with themselves and say "Whooooooooa, I dodged a bullet on that one.... Imagine spending my whole life like that!!"

Seriously, if you care what people think of you just STOP. Don't tell me "I can't stop caring." Shut up. Just stop it. It's done.

Now as you're out there playing the game, it's always "What's my highest percentage move??"

There is no consideration for what you'll look like or any of that nonsense. That stuff is so stupid I couldn't IMAGINE playing the game in that headspace.

Being like that would be like playing hockey and thinking "Are the people in the crowd thinking my STRIDE looks GRACEFUL?? Am I a MAGIC SWAN??"

Dudes, how can you be thinking about scoring a goal if you're worried about looking *SWAN*?????

UHHH ... MAKE - NO - SENSE.

So you're out there and you've got a variety of moves. These various moves have different "percentage chances" of working out for you.

If you're into RSD these aren't moves like "Use this routine, use this neg..." You guys know I can't be bothered as my entire "attract phase" is based on being MORE NIMBUS THAN MAN.

Instead of thinking in terms of "techniques" think in terms of being a BANSHEE.

Did you ever read the "X-men" comic books when you were a kid??

Remember that dude Banshee whose super powers were flying and his super-sonic yell that he projected out at people?? That's banshee.

Now when you're talking to a girl, you can imagine my voice as being like a tracter beam.

Essentially it attracts every woman in the vicinity and puts social pressure to stun-out the brains of every dude.

That's a result of 1) resonance, 2) positivity, and 3) non-rapport seeking / self-amusing pitch and tonality.

You combine that with staying "outside my head" and acting in the moment.

Remember that you don't "DO" anything. Rather, it's "THIS IS HAPPENING THROUGH ME."

You don't even take credit for it in my own head. *YOU* am not doing it, GOD is doing it. You're just the intermediary.

(Read up on Zen if this confuses you -- it sounds bizarre but it's really standard stuff).

The key is that you never "flich" or "retreat" into your mind to release pressure.

You keep the pressure outward always. Leave all the "thinking" to the other people.

It comes down to the "stronger reality". This is YOUR party and people are obviously going to act how YOU expect them to act.

YOU are the source of good emotions in the environment. You aren't going up to the girl little a little bitch-boy Oliver Twist like "Please miss, may I have some more??"

You're approaching with a FULL CUP here, with water to spare -- not looking to be FILLED.

There's no agenda. No wanting any specific result. You're having fun. Amusing yourself. That's IT.

With that lethal combination you're basically in FULL LORD mode. The better you get at it the more your nimbus grows into it's fullest potential.

Now remember, you've got various moves for every situation and you just go in there like a computer and UNLEASH THE ALGORITHM WITHIN.

Basically it's just fun, fun, fun -- YOU are the most fun and coolest dude to hang out with in the environment.

You don't approach trying to GENEREATE A RESPONSE (that's called "button pushing" and it's sooooo 2003). Rather, and this is the ultimate key, you go up and SELF AMUSE.

That's it.

Just get into the habit of self-amusement.

Go up and self-amuse right in front of the girl. You're not trying to make HER laugh. You're trying to make YOURSELF laugh, and then because you dominate the reality she gets drawn into that and what YOU think is funny now SHE thinks is funny.

This is real simple, and don't let the over-analysis deceive you. All the cool kids in high school did it. You've done it without realizing whenever you've had an "ON" night.

From there you just enjoy your night, pull to the restaurant, pull home, done deal.

Every situation that comes up, you just go to your algorithm of "highest percentage responses" and execute without all the "How will this make me look" type RETARDEDNESS.

Wash rinse repeat.

In the same way that once you know how to open and run a five minute conversation, with repetition you can learn to surf the wave all the way to the shore on a SCARILY consistent basis.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Keep it cracking and post reports on RSD Nation. See you there.


Tyler

The First Rule Of Fight Club Is....... Uhhh, What Was It Again??

I'm always out there, I'm always talking to people...

Folks come up and talk to me on the street, in the gym, out at clubs. Pretty much every where I go.

One of the biggest concerns that people ask me about on a day to day basis is all the media exposure that the community is getting.

"Will this stuff still work if everybody knows about it?? Will women still respond to it??"

I mean, it's a pretty valid question......

You've got a NY Times best seller, a reality TV show, mainstream news and magazine coverage, and possibly even a movie at some point.

It seems like pretty much any guy in his twenties and thirties probably knows about this stuff.

Even people who don't know that I'm "Tyler from Real Social Dynamics" will oftentimes ask me if I've heard of it, at which point I have to decide whether or not to disclose to them my superhero identity (usually I don't, as I find it removes the authenticity out of the interaction and all they want to do is ask questions from that point).

Anyway the issue was a big one for me as well...

Back in 2004 I had this big dilemma. I knew that the community was going to be getting all the mainstream exposure eventually. What should I do??

The issue was that EVEN IF the book wasn't going to be successful, we as a company (RSD) were planning to blow up -- and so the bitter irony was that the ultimate goal of our own company was to cause ourselves to become obsolete.

I mean, think about this......

At 24 years old I'm sitting there, and I've got all these kickass "pick up lines" that I've come up with over the years.

They were really good, like -- bam bam bam -- really consistent.

I couldn't imagine life without them. In fact, I was quite addicted as I felt like they conveyed so many positive qualities about me.

So yeah, it was a big dilemma.

I remember the first time I visited Sydney Australia -- that was when it occurred to me that there might be a cause for concern.

Within about 3 weeks of hitting the clubs we'd "tapped out" most of Darling Harbour, King's Cross, Bondai Beach, and the various venues downtown -- to the point where we'd approached most of the girls out there.

We'd go up to the girls with the same type of opening lines and they'd say "You used that line on us last week!!"

See, the issue is that WHILE there are several million people (and girls) in any given city, there are only so many that are actually involved in the club scene.

Think of it this way: On Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday there are usually ONE OR TWO clubs that are "hot" in any city. Even in big metropolitan cities this tends to be the case.

The clubs are usually frequented by "regulars" who cycle through over about a 2-6 week period.

So... if you go out to the same "Monday night venue" for a few weeks in a row and you're really social, sooner or later you'll probably have met the vast majority of the people in the venue.

The same venue that was a "fresh untapped pool" the first time you went will suddenly be pretty much "repeat sets" from there on out, with maybe a few new people and tourists cycling through.

(I also believe that a club scene replenishes every 2-3 years as the girls in relationships become single, and many of the single/party girls will go into more stable relationships).

Then you've got Thursday through Saturday which usually has a lot more venue selection. But even then over the course of a year you tend to get to know everyone who goes out.

Even in cities like Los Angeles, New York, and London... I tend to have people (especially girls) coming up to me continually saying "Hey Tyler!! Remember me?!?!" within about a year of living there.

In Los Angeles which has about 17 million people I usually had about 1/3 of every girl in the club who knew me by the time I'd lived there for two years. In the "exclusive/trendy" social scenes I knew pretty much the entire crowd.

The most ridiculous was back in Kingston in Canada, where I went to school.

There was only about 150,000 people living there, and at the start of the year I'd have all these fresh new clubs but by the halfway point I'd have girls on the street yelling "You're the Best Friend's Guy!!" and then other totally unrelated girls nearby would overhear it and yell "He used that on you to?? Buuusted!!"

It got to the point where I was always conservative in my approaches because I didn't want to "burn out" my stack of lines unless I was pretty sure it was going to be successful.

Anyway, that was obviously what had me initially concerned.

I mean, if just myself and a few other guys could "burn out" and "overfish" an entire city within such a short period of time, what was going to happen when the entire MAINSTREAM got a hold of this stuff??

It was this totally wack feeling like "I know that I've got these new skills... But eventually the cat is going to get out of the bag and I'm going to become this tacky dude who relies on meeting girls who've never heard of it..."

To deal with this, I sat down my entire team in 2004 for a big meeting that would be the seed of a change in RSD from that point forward.

Basically the gist of it was "Look, we have to find a new way of doing this stuff... Even if I don't release my book for another few years because I'm researching it... Even if we lose initial popularity because we don't have a concrete system... In the longterm the only way we'll survive as an organization is if we kick the habit of all these canned lines and go 100% natural, and then find a potent way of teaching it so that people can replicate our level of results..."

Obviously this was pretty nerve wracking.

For the next 18 months I waded around in the dark talking to girls with this irritating voice in the back of my head yelling "Cummon' man!! You KNOW you can get this girl!! Just use your LINES on her!!"


That's also why I find it hilarious that people will say "Yeah Tyler's a natural now... But that's because he used to use lines and routines so he was able to get the hang of it..."

Yeah right!! Yeah f**king right!!

I had to unwire 3 years worth of "autopilot responses" that I'd cultivated by going of going out 7 nights a week. It took me 2-3 years to become a natural, where it takes most people 1 or 2, simply because I had to spend a whole year "unwiring" my old habits.

My total journey to reach the level I'm at now was 5 years. I don't regret it, but it took me a LOT longer than it takes the average guy these days.

To this day I still deal with "old instincts" to always be the center of attention and frame control people in order to keep my "state" up. All that old wiring will probably never go away entirely, which is one of the reasons I've studied Eastern philosophy to get out of my head (if you're out of your head all redundant/unnecessary thought patterns are basically neutralized -- including negative ones -- which is why it's so useful).

Anyway, nowadays I live in Honolulu which is a city of only about 1 million people.

It's a fun scene but also very, very small compared to what I'm used to.


I've basically met almost every girl in the club scene at some point or other. If this was a few years ago there's no way I could live here because I would have been using the same "lines" over and over, and I'd always have to be asking myself "Have I talked to her yet??"

These days I'm 100% natural, no lines, no routines.

As a result, if I see a girl I've spoken to before I ENJOY it. It's actually in some ways superior to a girl who I've never met. In fact, I basically have a social circle and I look forward to seeing them.

Beyond that there are all sorts of "added benefits" to going natural...:
-You get a LOT more sexual attraction, as opposed to "giggly" attraction
-You never, ever have to be concerned about "running out of things to say"
-You open a lot more consistency because you come across more natural (this is counter-intuitive, but YES you open more consistent)
-You close a lot more often, because you're triggering responses in the girl that are at the core of what makes her feel attracted to you
-You learn to trust in your own instincts, as opposed to what a teacher or guru tells you to do
-You become a "better person" in terms of how you carry yourself as a man

So I've really enjoyed it.

At this point in time I can read the books, watch the shows on TV, and even look forward to a possible movie as a FAN of the material.

I'll go out and see guys using that type of "game" and it doesn't even hit my radar. I'm not doing anything remotely similar to what they're doing, so it's all good.

(To be honest it's kind of funny...)

Still, once in a while I'll bust out a canned opener for old time's sake and it seems like practically every time somebody will yell out "You read the book!! You read the book!!"

In my head it's like "Uhhh, I'm actually the bad guy from the book... But yeah, I did read it..."

I don't know if this is God's way of telling me to NOT go back to using canned material, or if other people are having this issue as well, but regardless I'm very psyched that I'm no longer reliant on it.

------

And as a side note......... we all know that "Attraction is not a choice..."

I remember back in 2003 when I made the mistake of teaching a workshop where I said "If you guys are curious what my exact lines are I'll tell you... But you have to promise not to use them because *everyone* will be saying the same thing and it'll mess up the whole night..."

Of course, EVERY SINGLE GUY on the program used the lines when he was out, thinking that the other guys wouldn't use them.

I walk up to this 5'11 Playboy Centerfold and I bust out my canned opener. Her friend starts yelling "He's one of those guys!! He's one of those weird opinion guys!!"

But because I did it better than the other 12 guys who'd used it, she said "I like this one the best!! He's my favourite of those weird guys!!" and we started molesting eachother and all that fun stuff.


(It sounds impressive, but really, Playmates are running around all over the place in Hollywood...)

So yeah, I MORE THAN ANYONE fully "get it" that being busted with the same lines is not the end of the world. You just take it as a "congruence test" and plow through it and it's totally fine.

My issue was that the whole thing was just getting TOO WEIRD. I didn't want to be THAT GUY.

------

Anyway, I hope that this serves as an honest account of my experiences.

There are a lot of other teachers in this vast community, and I realize that many of them will have entirely different perspectives on this.

I personally have a lot of respect for ANYBODY who has the jam to teach this stuff live in the field, because it's NOT easy.

All perspectives are valuable, and I say this not to be politically correct but because I really believe it -- It's common sense that you should never get all your advice from just one person/organization, and the guys who have a different perspective have a LOT to offer.

The point that I'm looking to get across is that YES, this stuff is getting out there, and YES, you want to have a strategy to deal with the reality of it.

What I've outlined has been my personal approach --> "becoming a natural".

Other guys may want to customize their approach to their own individual material or whatever, it just depends on what their goals are in all of this.

To answer the big question "Is all the mainstream attention an issue that I have to be concerned about??"

The answer is YES... You DO have to use common sense and deal with it.

Is it an issue that's going to mess up the whole deal??

NO... It's not.

At least, not for the guys who use their intelligence and have a strong sense of indivuality and personal style.

OK, that's it for now.

The Jeffy Show is coming out SOON, btw...

We're launching on October 31, 2007 -- 12PM EST.

It's going to be making major waves in the community, as it's a program that basically covers the elements of the "out of control" natural -- as in the irresistible-to-women Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee, Jimmy Morrison types who've had more adventures than the average guy could conceive of in a given lifetime.

I have a theory that there are two types of guys in this world: Those of us who WISH we were those types of guys, and those of us who have no interest but at least want to learn the SECRETS of those types of guys.

A lot of people have been asking me "Is this going to be the REAL Jeffy??" -- as in the gun-toting, insane maniac??

The answer is YES. The program is NOT toned down for a mass audience. I expect that there will probably be a lot of people pretty shocked by The Jeffy Show.

OTOH, it's had rave reviews from everyone who's seen it, including many who've said it's the best program RSD has ever put out. Probably due to the raw authenticity of it, as well as the lethally informative nature of everything that Jeffy has to offer.

I guess we'll see what happens.

Be on the lookout for a lot of very cool promotion that will be coming out in the upcoming weeks -- including Jeffy "taking over" the blog with some monster articles that you should be very excited about.

Look for those very soon, and thanks for reading!!


Tyler

The "Art Of Gibberish" -- AKA The Million Dollar Mouthpiece

Fall in London... It's great to be here.

Hello and what's up to everyone who's tried to reach me to no avail while I've been overseas. Friends and family. Everyone who's sent me messages. Thank you.

It's been a crack week, just wrapping up bootcamp and then going back over all the preparation for this weekend's "Blueprint Superconference" (www.blueprintsuperconference.com).

It's going to be four full days of 100% new content. The most large-scale speaking engagement to this point in my career. I've been preparing for this for 3 years.

Anyway, I've got an article due right now so let's get on it......

Today I want to talk about what most people believe to be hands down the *biggest* hurdle in the entire "success with women" game...

That's the question of "What do I say to the girls I approach??"

-- AKA

"What do I say when I run out of material??"

-- AKA

"How do you keep the conversation going when it stales out??"

This is a massive challenge for the vast majority of guys, and chances are it's been a challenge for YOU at some point or other -- if not on a regular basis.

The issue of "what to say" is a very funny thing, because in the press and media they're consistently fixated by it. The first question I'm asked by most people when they find out about Real Social Dynamics is "What types of things do you teach people to say??"

Of course, this is a classic reflection of the general public's "Magic Pill" consumer-based mindset.

They REALLY think it's all about the lines and usually can't "get over it" no matter how much evidence I pummel them with to the contrary.

Like, yeah.... Yeah..... YEAH that's RIGHT, you can just take a guy with NO SUCCESS and give him a SET OF LINES and he's gonna be rockin' "hoes in different area codes" and bringin' a revolution of pimpin' WORLD WIDE.

Uhhhh... Urban legend?? Uhhhh.... uhhhhhhhhh.......

*Sigh*

I've often thought that on some level it's more appeasing to the ego to learn a set of lines because it's more tangible and easy to grasp. You can look at what you've learned and say to yourself "I have this new way of doing things that makes me feel better than the naturals... I am now *enhanced*..."

It's just a lot more quantifiable in this "More, more, more..." world than, say, a surging feeling of confidence in your body that you can't entirely explain.

Regardless, you might have noticed RSD is pretty notorious for running in-field bootcamps where we'll get you doing exercises like opening with "I like salad" or "Who are you??" or just walking up to the girl and staring until she starts laughing uncontrollably.

We do this with you sometimes specifically as an *exercise* to hammer home the point that IT REALLY DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.

(At least as long as you're genuinely "offering value"... and not being validation-seeking, creepy, or insecure).

As long as you've got the fundamental core principles that we work you through down pat, the actual words themselves are pretty incidental.

Still, oftentimes you have people from outside the community read about this and say "These guys are teaching people to say I LIKE SALAD?? But... But... That's like the worst LINE I've ever heard... I knew this stuff was bullshit... Let me get back to my World Of Warcraft game..."

Other times you also have guys from *inside* the community who are still coming from the "entertainer-man" frame, and try it expecting it be similar to their usual "talk about topics that entertain women" type openers or whatever.

Obviously these are both instances of gross misunderstandings of what this stuff is all about. They're missing the sets of "core beliefs" that allow you to sort of "transcend" the need to have the perfect line.

Let's look at a few of the types of beliefs that I'm talking about......

1) AS A GIRL BECOMES ATTRACTED SHE MOSTLY NOTICES AND REMEMBERS WHAT SHE "FEELS"... AND HAS VERY LITTLE ATTENTION OR RETENTION OF WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

This obviously varies from girl to girl. I've had girls shock me by remembering all sorts of tiny details of our conversations at times.

Usually there's like these one or two things that she grabs onto for some reason or other. It just depends on the girl.

The majority of the time, however, I've noticed the girls remember very little about our overall conversation.

What they remember is mostly that they had fun, that I was a cool guy, and that's about it...

I've found this to lead to all sorts of hilarious anomolies...... like that you can do a "palm reading" on a girl or even pose as a FULL PSYCHIC, and yet she has no recollection of this the on the second meet.

I mean, even if a girl believes in telepathy you'd think it's pretty insane she thinks she's on an ACTUAL DATE with a REAL LIFE PSYCHIC WIZARD, no??

Like, "Hey Julie, I'm going out for dinner and a movie with this psychic dude named Owen... I think he's a Warlock... Don't wait up..."

The thing is, back in the day when I used to try literally everything I could find on the internet (2002/03 -- you dudes who came into this in 2007 have absolutely no idea how lucky you are) I don't think I ever had a girl I dated actually remember it.

All they ever remembered was that our conversation was "super fun".

Now you guys might be thinking "Does this mean that I should be posing as a psychic??"

Uhhhhhh, NO.

What I'm getting at here is that there is VERY LITTLE LIMITATION as to what you can talk about with a girl.

She's feeling whatever emotional state YOU are in, and being drawn into that.

Your state is contagious. Remember this.

STATE - IS - CONTAGIOUS.

If you're feeling a surge of confidence and positivity (aka -- the NIMBUS of glory) in your body, that feeling is going to be transfered into HER body and she's going to love you to death.

As she becomes more and more attracted, you can talk pure nonsensical gibberish at her and she's going to be loving it more and more.

Obviously if you try this when you're feeling "out of state" then she's just going to ask you if you're drunk or on drugs.

If you're feeling AWESOME, however, and you draw people into your reality...... all it's going to do is get her investing in trying to play along with the silly conversation you're having, and build more attraction.

(Note: The "This is going to get misinterpreted by newbies and turn them into retards" red-alert is going off in my head right now... If you play with the ideas in this article, feel free to "go over the line" and see where the limit is, but also make sure to use common sense and calibrate once you've got it figured out).

Anyway, one of the major reasons I rarely run out of stuff to say is that I'm not limited by it having to make all that much sense. I "fractionate" between intelligent logical conversation and total self-amusing nonsense.

I can pretty much talk indefinitely. There is no pre-set ending to the conversation because it's not "linear" or "goal-directed" and there's no purpose for it other than to have fun.

This is very liberating and frees me up to really FEEL the emotions in my body and allow them to FLOW from myself to the girl.

2) SEXUAL COMMUNICATION LIKE "STATE" AND "DOMINANCE" HAVE EXISTED FAR LONGER THAN WORDS

A huge, huge epiphany for me has been that communicating state and dominance is far more potent in terms of attracting women than the words I use.

I used to think that meeting women was similar to a "sales presentation" where I wanted to very subtley allow her to see all of the "features an benefits" of going out with me.

No more.

These days when I talk to a girl my only assumption is that she's having fun with me, and that during this time she's unconsciously observing cues in my behaviour that have existed in human beings for thousands of years before I was ever born.

Somewhat funny sounding, I know. But I really believe it.

In my own humble opinion and experience, girls are usually feeling from you the following things...:

-Are you "self-monitoring" or are you "outside your head"??

-Are the words seeking her reaction or approval, or are they just "flowing out of you" without the slightest effort??

-Do you have to "go back into your head" when you think of what to say, or do you just flow because you speak authentically??

-Do you get your sense of reality from other people, or do you get it from your own independent interpretation??

-Do you draw your state from the ever-changing environment, or do you draw your state from within yourself?? (Huge, massive, and possibly the most important part of all this...... When you get this down you are unstoppable).

In all my experience, all this stuff is going to get women extremely attracted to you extremely quickly.

In fact, the whole "gibberish" thing is sooooo good because 1) it keeps YOU amused with YOURSELF which keeps you in state, and 2) it keeps the conversation going indefinitely while you're playfully being dominant and drawing boundaries on her and moving her around.

She's having so much fun talking to you while getting more and more attracted simultaneously.

The best part: This becomes integrated into your core personality, and it's not a character that you have to turn "on" or "off".

3) WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY HAS VALUE PURELY BECAUSE IT COMES FROM *YOU*... AND WHAT YOU SAY IS INTERESTING NOT BECAUSE OF THE SPECIFIC "CONTENT", BUT BECAUSE THE GIRL IS INTERESTED IN WHAT IS INTERESTING TO *YOU*

Alright this last one has to do with the "filter" in your mind that either "allows" or "blocks" you from saying what's on your mind.

A great way of describing this is "stifled" or "unstifled".

Once you reach a level where you can speak your mind easily, the conversation flows out "naturally" and "in the moment" -- which makes it very "on point".

This gives you a lot of room to convey your natural personality without having to be so over-the-top. You can even be a bit "humble" or "shy" if you want, and girls will be into it because you're so natural and at-ease with yourself.

Think of it this way....... If you're talking to a room full of 11 year olds, you probably won't "run out of things to say".

That's because it's only when you perceive the person is having HIGHER STATUS than you that you suddenly become stifled and self-monitoring.

Conversely, the whole "say whatever comes into your head" thing is actually communicating that you DO NOT put the girl on a pedastal -- which communicates that you're at ease with your status in the environment.

It communicates that you are unstifled in the girl's presence, and therefore a CHALLENGE as opposed to a DOORMAT.

Instead of trying to "micromanage" whether or not what you'll say will be good enough to get her attention, just allow yourself to say whatever's on your mind and realize that the mere act of being so at ease with her will usually be found attractive.

Think of your mind as being wired together by various filters and pathways.

The two most absolutely important pathways that you can have as a guy who wants to be successful with women are:

-Whatever you say has value PURELY becomes it comes from YOU.

(IE: Just like how if a hot girl says something you'll probably listen, whatever you say will be listened to because it comes from an attractive guy).

-Whatever you say is INTERESTING not because of the "content" but because girls want to know what is interesting to YOU.

(IE: If you woke up one morning and found that you had this hot new girlfriend, you'd be a LOT more interested in finding out everything you could about her real personality than what she hypothetically thinks would impress you)

Once you have these two basic filters installed, suddenly the words just seem to flow and flow and flow.

It basically comes down to the fact that you've got to believe in what YOU have to say.

The reason that most guys rely on "Pickup Gurus" to tell them what to say is that usually when they use the "guru" lines they get much better results.

Big fallacy: When they use the "guru lines" they speak with 10X more confidence and conviction.

THAT is why they get the better results.

It's once you can approach a girl with "Hi, I'm Owen..." with the SAME confidence that you would your guru-line, that you suddenly have this area of your life locked down.

As Immanuel Kant would put it...:
"Enlightenment is man's release from his self-incurred tutelage. Tutelage is the incapacity to use one's own understanding without the guidance of another. Such tutelage is self-imposed if its cause is not lack of intelligence, but rather a lack of determination and courage to use one's intelligence without being guided by another."

Anyway, I've really got to wrap this up.

I hope you guys have enjoyed this nuts-and-bolts "outer game" article, and stay tuned for more insanity when I get back to Canada next week.


Tyler

PS:

I liked all of these videos for different reasons. Like them or hate them, I have much respect for anyone with a stand-out personality and I think all of these guys have *elements* to them that any critically-thinking person will enjoy.

PPS:

I think there's great value in knowing the "phases" of meeting a woman, such as those outlined in "Foundations" and other sources. ie: "Qualifying" the girl so that she feels OK to act on her attraction for you, or moving her around so that she feels a greater depth of experience with you more quickly.

What I'm referring to in this article is purely the "What to say" aspect, and getting yourself the ability to talk to the girls you're attracted to for as long as you want.