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Monday, January 22, 2007

The "New" RSD

Looking like a parapalegic in the freeze frame -- love it.. :)

Some absolutely crucial concepts here...

SELF ESTEEM:
-You're born with it, just like arms and legs.
-It is indescribable -- like MOJO or SOUL.
-You have it as a child until it becomes wounded (it takes years to find it again -- and "re-remember" the self-esteem you had as a child)
-Feeds off of nothing, as it is self sustaining

EGO:
-A rational construct that we devise as a substitute for self-esteem (when it has become too wounded to provide confidence anymore).
-Getting status, making money, pulling girls -- these things allow us to LOGICALLY tell ourselves "I have confidence".
-Different from "self esteem" because self esteem is a INNATE HUMAN ATTRIBUTE whereas ego is a MAN MADE PSYCHOLOGICAL CONSTRUCT
-Feeds off of continual attention, accolades, good reactions, etc..

Now you could argue that EGO is a stronger form of confidence than self-esteem, because ego is based on something rational.

However, being even more objective, self-esteem is an INNATE CHARACTERISTIC and something you're born with, just like arms or legs.

Remember -- there is no logical reason for having it.

You just have it because you're born with it. It's innate.

So when someone says "That dude has way too much ego" they're basically saying "That dude is leaning on some logical construct to give himself confidence, because he's a wounded little boy who lacks self esteem."

In other words, a guy with "too much ego" is coming from a place of weakness, not strength.

It's not a bad thing to have ego -- guys who transcend all ego are often weirdos who live cross-legged in caves.

It's also great to go after the things you want, because it improves YOUR OWN QUALITY OF LIFE (ie: I choose to live in Hawaii, not a fat house in LA, because I love Hawaii -- if I wanted to impress my friends I'd move back to LA).

However, if anything, ego should be layered ON TOP of self-esteem -- not a SUBSTITUTE for self esteem.

If somebody pulls the rug out from under you, ideally it shouldn't affect you emotionally because you have a foundation of self-esteem in place.

Now as for "being sucessful with women".........

Say you approach a girl, you must KNOW that "The self is coming through"

That means that you know that things like:
-Self esteem
-Masculine polarity
-Confidence
-Positivity
-Outlook (ie: Jeffy has a funny worldview, so his slight ironic demeanor shows this)

........are always coming through to the girl, even if you just say "hi" and have a casual conversation.

Later, as the conversation progresses, things like:
-That you have your own tastes and values
-That you have your own identity and purpose
-That you have personal boundaries

.......will also start to come through.

This knowledge that "THE SELF IS ALWAYS COMING THROUGH" is the most INTENSE realization you will ever have.

Once you realize it, you realize you can approach with ANYTHING, and say ANYTHING, and the girls will dig it because THE SELF IS COMING THROUGH.

Think of it like "psychic powers" (even though they don't really exist) -- whether you've got a mansion or a yatch or a twelve inch battle axe.... or intelligence or street smarts or a worldly perspective --> the specifics are totally subjective and irrelevant.

If you have REAL SELF ESTEEM and you know that THE SELF IS ALWAYS COMING THROUGH, the girls KNOW that you're the shit the second you open your mouth (or at least, when they "process" it, which may take a few sentences).

The day that this epiphany "clicks" in your head YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE.

NOW...

If you walk up to a girl and you don't get a lot of attention right away, just like the driver of a high performance race car -- a driver who KNOWS the calibre of car he's driving won't be afraid when he hits a scary curve because he knows the car will hold out (that the self will show through within a few more sentences); whereas a guy who doesn't know what kind of car he's driving will freak out and try to OVERCOMPENSATE.

Guy who knows what car he's driving = tapping into self esteem

Guy who doesn't know what car he's driving and feels like he needs more "logical justification" to believe in it = tapping into ego

Or, IOW......

EGO = any time a girl doesn't react exactly as you were expecting you get those needy hungry eyes and start pushing for a reaction (girls feel this and blow you off), or worse you just bail out YOURSELF to avoid any "contradictory evidence" that you're anything other than the "pimp" you believe yourself to be.

SELF ESTEEM = you're totally at ease with ANY sort of reaction, and once the girl feels that unreactive masculine polarity coming from you she opens up --> hence "knowing that in a few more sentences the SELF will surely start to come through."

The core of what's going through your mind must be:

-"I have SELF ESTEEM and I'm not even thinking about any rational reason for it -- I'm BORN with this cause it's the fuckin SOUL MOJO F-IN' SUPER POWERS -- and this is GOD'S WILL"

-"I know that the SELF is always coming through and the girls know exactly who I am the second they listen to me talk"

-"I know what I have to say is valuable because it's coming from ME, and I know what I have to say is interesting because it's an EXPRESSION of my personal tastes and people are curious about that" -- just like a hot girl talking, and how whatever she says is interesting because it comes from HER

-"I don't take ownership of their bad reactions -- I've spent enough time taking failure as feedback and improving myself that if they react bad it's probably THEIR issue not mine"

By installing these beliefs you stand head and shoulders above every other guy who can't "be himself" around girls -- because ego is ultimately a sign of UNHEALED WOUNDS whereas real self esteem is a sign of true VITALITY.....

Back when you were a kid you HAD self esteem (you were born with it) but it was wounded through adolescence and couldn't provide that FUEL for your confidence anymore.

So to find fuel you created an EGO (sought out rational reasons for why you should feel confident) to carry the weight...

But at this point, you're NOT THAT GUY ANYMORE and you're SO EVOLVED (as Jay-Z would say) that *everything* about you (whether your physical body or self esteem) is stronger and not so easily wounded.

You can "re-remember" that old self esteem you used to trust as a child, and like a "big happy baby" you approach girls and all people with full expectation of a friendly response.

This all sounds funny, but it's absolutely true.

It's called "coming into your own."

NOW...

As for that feeling you get on an "on" night, or as we call it "being in state"…

When you go out, use “game” to get girls giggling and giving you attention, and find yourself going into state, this is your ego in a FEEDING FRENZY.

Your ego is saying “Mmmmmmm… This is soooooo good. Keep it coming.”

This is the equivalent to putting your hands on two electrical sockets and just letting the current BLAST through you.

That’s why going out and being “in state” is so addictive and so yummmm.

However, confidence has to come from SOMEWHERE…

And the kind of high you get from tapping into EGO is like a DIRTY and ERRATIC high.

It’s a high where you’re totally in state, but even as you do another approach in the back of your mind you might say to yourself “Maybe I shouldn’t do this one because I might fall back out of state…”

Tapping into SELF ESTEEM based confidence you get a more stable high -- a CLEAN and SILKY high.

You can feel that you’re in state, but it’s so much cleaner and there isn’t the slightest concern that that you might fall out of it.

It’s impossible to fall out of it – you’ve TAPPED INTO something that’s inside of you and you’ve hit the “sweet spot.”

That’s the "new" RSD and what this “game” is really all about.


Tyler

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Really good. I feel this.

P.S. Atlas Shrugged is in my top 5 books right now.

theroyalflush said...

This is without a doubt one of the most important posts I have ever read.

Amazing stuff man, if this truly is the direction RSD is heading prepare for your company to be in the stratosphere by next year at this time.

Bill said...

Whats wrong with people who meditate in caves?

Sting said...

TD,
good stuff as usual - i can relate to this.
I see the same things your talking about here as a Self-Acceptance deal. same thing, different ways of looking at it.

a point i want to throw out is the NECESSITY of travelling through egotistical based confidence to reach self-esteem based confidence. there's no other way.
there are different reasons for this - primarily, IMO, its based on feelings of inadequacy developed (i.e socially programmed, not innate) as one grows older. so one sets out to prove (to himself more than others) that he or she can really cut it out there.
your friend Style talked about this in his book (in different terminology) but he ignored the fact that his self-esteem based 'lifestyle' success had been built on the back of a non-stop ego based 'sarging lifestyle'.

thanks for that,
Sting

Goku said...

You know...

you simply...

Fucking Rock



Kep it up Dude ;)

Anonymous said...

man i feel a lot of heart in what you guys are doing lately.

David said...

id like to hear your views/feelings/ideas on spirituality/mysticsm

what place does it have in society in your opinion? in your opinion is it a social construct, if so why? is there room for spirituality in what appears to be a very rational perspective on your part?

Do you believe in the concept of GOD. if so what does it mean to you? if not what are your views on human existence. are we just mere biology/evolution. etc etc.

i know this is HEAVY shit but id like and i think a lot of people would like to read what you have to say about that, having majored in philosophy.

- david

entropy said...

...and just when I was getting used to the "Old" RSD.

Seriously though, I appreciate this insight so much. My brain always has to "click" on why a concept is true (at least a way that I can understand and believe it to be true), before it has any significant impact on my use of it in the field. Sure, that may not be the most advantageous/expedient method, but it is how my brain works nevertheless.

This was one of those "clicking" moments for me. Thanks.

rt said...

Are all these "new rsd" concepts going to be incorporated into The Blueprint?

I'm not trying to bust your stones, but you really need to set a release date for your book.

Tyler said...

Thanks guys, so much appreciated --

It's funny that I've heard what an "ego" is for years but only actually UNDERSTOOD it very recently.

I also believe that you DO travel through ego based confidence to "re-remember" or "re-arrive" at self-esteem based confidence -- however, I also think that you can only even READ this post if you're at a point where you might be nearing that tipping point.

The average guy who's wrapped up in ego based confidence, like I've been for years, will read this and go "hmmmmph, cool, uhh anyway, back to my ego quest" and forget about it.

It's only when you're at a point where you're ready to really see it that your "reticular activating system" is primed to allow it to come through.


Tyler

Ace said...

Oh Wow, That's Magical. I just cannot wait to reach my prime in my game. And stuff like THIS, the inner game teachings, is really what it all comes down to.

Great Job! Ima be just like you someday...cept' i'll be more brown...and latin...
Peace

Ace

Sting said...

TD,
there's a book by A. H Maslow called Motivation and Personality.
if you haven't read it already - give it a look. I think you'll find interesting.
just a google search "Maslow, Self actualization" will give you a sliver of what his stuff is all about.

cheers,
Sting

Anonymous said...

It's all true, what you're writing!

BUT - how do you suggest we develop our self esteem, if not through boosting ego and continuously being in that state for long periods on time?

I'm not criticizing, I'm actually asking!

//Nomaggiz

The Spitkicker said...

Tyler, this is the exact same conclusion I've come to after going through this entire process. Only after understanding the concepts of ego and the importance of grounding confidence in oneself' have i found happiness. Life used to be ups and downs. High's and Lows. Now its like a steady, relaxed, upbeat buzzz.

Great stuff here man.

Anonymous said...

okay i get it
so how do you improve yourself esteem?
is it going for that extra set even if it does pop you out of state?

NaturalGame said...

well there is a way you can unwrap your "baby" self esteem and actually it is very easy, doesn't involve going out approaching girls, doesn't involve drugs and is for FREE.
It's called EFT and involves tapping on your body to release blocking emotions, that your body stored in those bad experiences (most people have had in their childhood).

i am an eft therapist and trainer and recommend you check out www.emofree.com for FREE advice and manuals. this is then not only unlocking your natural ability to "game" but also giving you the key to success in EVERY area of your life.

remember who told you about it first ;)

Cheers,

NaturalGame

ps: tyler, i wrote you a pm about this months ago. you might wanna check this stuff out and write me back what you think about it. im always there for a free session with the guru that helped me alot, before i discovered eft 2 years ago ;)

MikeNYC said...

typer, i really appreciate this post.

Gen said...

Tyler, I love reading your blog -- it's always interesting reading your take on things.

Now, your comment about weirdos who just sit in caves got me to comment. I understand there have been, and still are in other parts of the world, people who've done that -- basically given everything up to just meditate. But it's become such a stereotype that, unfortunately for the people who are not familiar with that subject, turns them off and, in general, just leads them to have all sorts of inaccurate assumptions.

It's true there are extreme cases of ascetics who just cannot function in human society. However, there are just as many cases of people who go about their day to day life with jobs, relationships, etc. and yet still make progress (yes, "progress", which in itself is a long subject of course) in their meditative practice.

If you've never read anything from Ken Wilber, I'd highly recommend checking out his stuff. Feel free to check out the Wikipedia for more info and links. If anything, I'd read Sex, Ecology, Spirituality -- there is just no way that you won't get any value after reading it.

In fact it's great because all the talk about "inner game" and your idea of an innate self-esteem is all interlinked. It truly is mind-boggling and... just incredible.

I am not just another fanboy recommending some fluff that gave me some comfort during some angst ridden years in high school, nor am I doing this to spam you with commercial interests while claiming I come with good intentions. Just please, check it out. This subject is so misunderstood and people just never give it a chance because of assumptions and stereotypes. Meditation and "spirituality" is not anything remotely what most think it is -- in fact, there's a very empirical aspect to it (see Zen and the Brain by James H. Austin).

Sorry it got so lengthy. I just hope you get to read my comment and take it into consideration.

Geoff said...

Yeah, Randy one of our our old instructors called this high, the state of no-state. It's like it's a cool calm high.

Anonymous said...

great stuff, tyler. maybe a little less structured than on fastseduction.com, but your writings have been the most inspirational to me. thanks. i would like to work with you, but contacting you via johnny soporno or via your publisher (he told me the book was postponed) proved in vain. for what it's worth, check www.writemen.com, our text- and image bureau and www.jigsawcircus.com, the international music video and filmfestival we organise. i have a phd in philosophy and proposed a phd in sociology of seduction and the seduction community to the university of ghent (would you be intersted in coming to speak?).
contact me at hansomehyena@hotmail.com, and maybe we can set up something in brussels, belgium. thanks for everything.

Johnny said...

Ironically, Hyena, I have no more-direct method at my disposal of contacting Tyler than you do -

As a matter of fact, despite our having been born and matured in the same region, [I'm Montreal-born, and have lived in Ottawa and Toronto] we've never met in person, nor even actually communicated directly.

So far we've had to admire eachother from-afar ;)

I'm planning to coordinate a speaking-our in the Netherlands and Germany in the next couple of months, I could probably manage a trip to Belgium sometime in there if you'd still like to have me speak?

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy
JohnnySoporno@Hotmail.com

Jason said...

Thanks for the AWESOME post, Tyler. In the video you mention some books you push on the forums. What are those books?

Akhand said...

Tyler

I can't thank you enough for sharing your knowledge so generously.

Sincerely,

Ignacio

J said...

I first read this when it was published and I had to come back to this. This is profound stuff. I can see how the Tolle book struck your nerve (thanks for the recommendation btw!).

Best blog ever.

chemeng said...

this is solid. i do my own stuff with some RSD advice and this is exactly where im headed I think TD and RSD has been there all along since natural game took precedent but this article grounds it well.

Big said...

Love your blog TD. Absolutely great.

Kathexis said...

Your blog has me thinking: are women also a status symbol that we use to allow ourselves to be confident? In other words, is the desire to succeed with women largely driven by the desire to feed the rational EGO? I believe we conciously tell ourselves we want women because of our sexual desires, but is that entirely correct? I think a huge motivator for being with beautiful women is the RESPECT and RECOGNITION you get from your peers. Many times I find that "average looking" women have MORE sex appeal than the model type but they generate less attention. I attribute this to the fact that some guys are only looking for success with women because they want the KUDOS that's attached to having hot women-even if it means compromising their own taste.

Happy NYC Blueprint SC Client said...

The light is finally shining brighter...

Jason said...

This is my favorite article that helped me alot. thanks baby.

WIlly said...

Well, this is basically some hardcore foundations of the blueprint. Just about verbatim. Nice to have it in text form.