Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Is Outer Game Still Relevant??

Sometimes I'm asked.........

"If you have your inner game fully dailed -- coming from a place of core confidence, self amusement, and real self esteem -- is outer game still relevant??"

The short answer: YES.

There's a lot of confusion on this because when you're coming from a place where you're fully centered, self-forgetting and fully expressive of your masculinity (as dorky as that last one sounds) then you can safely say about 80-90% of what the dating community calls "outer game" becomes redundant and obselete.

The simple reason why??

Have you ever had one of those nights when you were so "ON" that anything and everything you said just ROCKED??

Even if what you were saying wasn't "all that" -- it just hit and the girls loved it??

Well if that's the case, then the obviously "hip" thing to do these days is figure out how to have those types of nights ALL THE TIME.


Yes... even as trendy as the late nineties pop sensation N'Sync.

The fact of the matter however is that this is proven to be a phenomenal approach to your success with women.

So why is outer game still absolutely relevant then??

Well to me, more than anything, a lot of it is LOGISTICS.

"Inner game" is what causes attraction, outer game is what allows you to move things from open to a close.

For example on bootcamp last weekend (what's up Fedz!!) there was an instance where the student was making out with a girl very heavily for about 10 minutes only to have her pulled away by her brother.

His INNER GAME was dialed which allowed her to become attracted without having to "do anything" in the traditional sense (other than open and start moving his mouth) -- but from an outer game perspective he needed to STEP UP and take DECISIVE ACTION to ensure that he'd hang onto his girl in the hectic nightclub environment.

The solution: I jumped in and started yelling random funny statements and accusations to hook back her attention, dragged her back off of the brother and onto the student.

Basic outer game...

Next up I befriended the brother and cooled him off from all the nonsense and threats of violence he was making, while allowing the student to proceed to move things forward with the girl.

It's really easy stuff, but you DO have to know how to do it.

To me that's what "outer game" is all about, at least by my own way of looking at it.

Anyway I'm planning to cover a bit more on the topic this week.



Revolver Ocelot said...

Never thought of it like that...neato.

Ziggy said...

Looking forward to your updates! I'm glad that they're becoming more frequent too!

I know for a fact that my "inner game" progress is getting me attraction without any kind of "outer game" at all. It's kind of confusing actually. The best thing from it though has been the improvement of my social life and my outlook in general. Priceless.

Bring on the "outer game" insights!

Anonymous said...

I agree with every word you say. When you are in state you can mostly "forget" many outer game things.
But still, some understanding of group dynamics, logistics and calibration for when necessary never hurts.

Kris Hughes said...

Lookin forward to it.

mayhem said...

TylerDurden, and hedwig. Glorious. "Do you guys believe in Harry Potter?" :D

Anonymous said...



CraC said...

WHAT'S self-forgetting?

Chill said...

thx again for the insights!
is pretty simple but extremely useful
looking forward to your updates

keep it real


Anonymous said...

how exactly do you disarm violent AMOGS?

We want free RSD infield videos on youtube'n'stuff

(Audio comments would be great, too)

Please... : )

Deuz said...

So true; before I looked into seduction stuff my inner game was already good, I created huge attraction but I didn't / couldn't do anything with it.. I just didn't now what to do..

David Clare said...

Outer game, "routines," etc. are currently somewhat unfashionable.

They'll be back.

These things always run in cycles.

Fleur de lis said...

Yeah, I've had stuff like that happen; I get so in the moment that I totally botch the logistics. I get massive attraction and get so deep into the interaction that I actually forget to escalate.

Anonymous said...

Hey Owen,

hey, definitely had a blast this weekend, big time!

Yeah, that moment in the club was a huge learning experience, I'm actually happy I blew it because it was so great to see you in action (not making excuses, this will not happen again!).

Hey, big fan of your blog (looking forward also to Tim's and Alex'), keep it coming, hehehe (crazy self-amusing laugh).


Hawk said...

That´s what I always see with the naturals in clubs and also with the ones they are my friends.
The create carzy attraction with there mere presents and have to do literally nothing to attract a girl except of moving their mouth after they get approached or something...but when contingencies happen they don´t expect a lot of them are puzzled.

Anonymous said...

You know, it's funny, I had a set a few weeks ago where I wanted to kiss the girl but couldn't figure out when to do it. She never gave me that look where you know you can just go for it, and she wouldn't stop talking, so there was never a pause when I could go for it. I never thought of doing it when she was laughing, that's great, thanks man!

Anonymous said...

Good call about moving chicks around the venue.

It'd be cool if you posted occasional field-report about your nights.

Just like, your thought processes (or lack thereof) and how the night played out.