Sunday, February 04, 2007

Deep Identity Level Change

After Neil's book had come out, one of the things I knew was crucial for the continuation of RSD was to evolve my identity at mock speed.

I hit the gym like an animal, gorged 5000 calories per day, grew my hair out, got my voice down a few octaves, studied masculine polarity, devoured any useful book I could find, evolved my entire mindset, saturated myself with positive thinking type stuff so that I wouldn't be distracted or consumed by anger -> bam bam bam -> shed most of the "kid" image and started to carry myself as a grown man.

Managed to do this in about one year. I worked harder at this than any of you will ever know.

Anyway, there was this girl I was friends with for a long time back when I lived in Los Angeles.

Most guys would probably call her a perfect 10.

I didn't really care, she was a friend of mine -- I realize most of you guys wouldn't handle this well, but part of being a connected guy in a city like LA is having female friends.

Right before I left Los Angeles she moved away to Hawaii and I hadn't been in touch with her for around a year and a half.

Tonight I bumped into her while I was out and she didn't recognize me.

I was like "Uhhh, it's ME..." and her mind couldn't process how much I'd changed.

She looked hardcore weirded out.

The last time she saw me I was 140 pounds, short hair, peacocky-dressed, effeminite, etc...

So now I'm decked out in a fly suit, long hair, 190 pounds, beard, deeper voice, etc...

She looks dazed and confused, and later her friend approaches me and starts talking to me for around 20 minutes (obviously you guys now what this potentially means).

Freaked out ex-friend storms over and grabs her friend and is like "We're going to the next club NOW" and drags her off.

I was like "Yo, it was nice to see you again" and she just nods and storms off with her friend.

Sooooo weird.

It tripped me out because this was the girl who used to wake me up every morning with phonecalls, and someone I hung out with.

I considered her to be, believe it or not, a FRIEND.

In some ways it's the ultimate compliment.

It's funny though because I've always said that one of the biggest perils of personal transformation is that you lose friends who can't accept a "new you".

This girl not only couldn't accept it --> she couldn't PROCESS it.

I was like a phantom... LOL.

You know what though?

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Life is good.




Anonymous said...

He Tyler, i know what you mean with this. Old friends cant belive it.

I make at the time self development with different techniques. I see the transformation in short time.

I see also a good old girl friend at sylvester party. She told me i was now very unlocked in contrast to former times.

I realized that i had make a deep level change. I was pleased at this moment. ;)

I hope you know what i would like say. Thats my terrible english at the moment. many greetz


killthemquick said...

dude you just hit bulls eye. im going through the samething thing . i dont relate to alot of my friends anymore or they dont relate to me . its feels like they dislike my growth as a man or find it extremly wierd.

even when we do go out to the same event, were at two diffrent parties. i think its wierd why wouldnt someone want to become better or why wouldnt you want to experince every day to the fullest. o well theres no possible way im going to stop, growing is must.

Jason Chen said...

I'm losing friends, both guys and girls. When they were talking to me, it seemed that they were afraid of me, and they looked at me like I was a ghost trapped in old Jason's body.

I had much longer hair, more muscle, way deeper voice, very different dress.

I found that only the girls I genuinely treated as friends would be weirded out by the new me. The girls that I had very close friendship.

Anonymous said...

Some people feel genuine happiness and others feel threatened by your deep level change. It's like showing someone the "matrix", and they don't want to accept it.

TD, what brand is your shirt?

Anonymous said...

It also depends on how GOOD a friends you were and what kind of friend you were to her. Were you more like her play friend or a REAL friend.

A couple of people I know say they go out with their friends all the time, but those friends are like "going-out" friends as opposed to people that know them well and would do things for them.


Anonymous said...

Cool, man. I've had similar experiences.

Why is this? At first I thought it was pure jealousy, but I think it goes much deeper than that. I think in my case, my success indirectly shifted my friends' perceptions of themselves. I viewed it as me taking a few steps up. I guess they viewed it as them taking a few steps down.

I don't know if they genuinely didn't want to see me succeed or not. I think they felt like they couldn't keep up, and rather than face their insecurities, they pulled total fiction out of the air (like my personality changing for the worse) to use as the reason for their resentment. Sound familiar to anyone?

Although that chick just sounds wacko. Lol.

Tim said...

Could you expand on how you dropped your voice a few octaves? Did you literally just talk lower until it eventually become second nature to you?

ijjjji said...

Nice blog! Its more the _consequences_ of accepting the new you that troubles this girl. She intuitively know she has no power to resist you in any way this time (knowing how much she loves your personality etc). Its FLEE or FALL (in love).

KingAdam said...

"I make at the time self development with different techniques. I see the transformation in short time.

I see also a good old girl friend at sylvester party. She told me i was now very unlocked in contrast to former times."

First off I'm giving you props on seizing the day man. It reminds me of a line by Tom Cruise's charecter in Collateral "most people 10 years from now, same job, same life, nothings changed..."

Your post also triggered another response. I want to bring something to attention. When you start to feel good about your game and I'm talking to everyone, you will feel as though you want to pick up every girl that you knew in the past. David DeAngelo and others say that it's highly unlikely to pick up even 1 girl that you liked and messed up with. Well it is quite possible but it will happen NATURALLY, give it time. Concentrate on the skill not the girls and the rest will fall into place.

Anonymous said...

Girls in general love it when men make progress. It makes us available and their biggest problem w/ guys I think is they want us but we aren't available enough, as in, knowing what we're doing so they can trust us.

But there's alot of conservative people out there who will react negatively to the freedom and development you achieve, because it's not the path they took, not what works for them or is in line with their values (i.e. a smoothly running society rather than a pursuit of adventure).

But that's a side note. The girl in this story just wasn't processing that a guy she labeled as friend could make the jump to hot guy. Beautiful experience by the way.