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Monday, April 02, 2007

Girls - Liking - You - Just - For - You


So in the past year I've made major, major changes to my game.

Changes so big, there's virtually no similarity between what I did before and what I do now.

For example, most guys who watch me comment on how I don't talk very much. Oftentimes I just claw over, say "WHO ARE YOU?!?!", and then qualify the girl with small talk.

Of course, other times I'm playful and over the top. It's whatever I feel like.

This is an ongoing process for me. My skillset is still in a transition period, with a lot of old instincts still creeping into what will soon enough be a very, very smooth way of doing things.

It's required me to make a lot of changes in my internal belief system, particular my "sense of deservedness."

For example, today Jeffy and I were out testing to see if "the claw" would work in the daytime.

I've been asked about this like non-stop ever since the unveiling of "the claw," like "Can THE CLAW really work during the day?!?!"

I always knew it could, but nonetheless decided to go and find out.

The first thing that I noticed was that I'd claw in, and the girls would be into me but I'd pussy out with an opinion opener.

Like, I'd rip her in and she'd be lit up, but I'd bitch out with 80s Dogs Opener or something like that.

Weak......

Then as the girl would be all giddy and talking to me, I'd find my mind scrambling to find ways to qualify myself (ie: demonstrate value).

Of course, this is totally ridiculous. But there's something soooooooo strange when you realize that all you have to do to get girls is just rip them over and say "Who are you?!"

Like, when you realize that you're at a point in your development where the game you've been learning is no longer useful, and all you need to do is walk up with total congruence and let her qualify herself to you.

In your head it's like "Is that it?!?!?! You've got to be kidding!!!"

At nighttime I suppose I rationalized that I had obvious lordship over the venue. But sitting there in middle of the day and having the same reaction felt weird.

This reminds me a lot of Tim, and when he started becoming really natural.

We were out one night and he'd just walk up and say "Hi... I'm Tim."

The girls would just fawn all over him, even though he wasn't DOING ANYTHING.

I remember at one point girls were really into him and I walked into his set and said "Look... You know you like him... Why don't you just save time for both of you and make out right now??"

The girl looked at her friends who were nodding profusely, and they just started making out.

Later in the night he approached the hottest girl in the bar (who was with her boyfriend) and she somewhat blew him off. We were surprised but a few minutes later she re-opened Tim and explained that she just had to unload the boyfriend.

Anyway, that night was one of the nights that truly got my mind ticking on the idea that it really just comes down to having it "in your reality" that girls could like you ONLY FOR YOU.

If this is something you communicate, you're money.

Like, back in the day I was routines-based in the first 10-15 minutes. I believed that it was the material I was using that was hooking.

Some of the reasons I believed this were...:
-It made me stand out from other guys.
-It demonstrated value and flipped her attraction switches.
-I wasn't slotting myself in with every other chode by doing the same things as everyone else

This made it "make sense" in my reality that girls could like me. There was a logical foundation for it.

Of course, in reality I was never as assertive or outgoing when I was just "being myself". It was the crutches that allowed it, and once I re-calibrated so that I could approach with the SAME SMOOTHNESS AND CONGRUENCE without material, I no longer needed it.

The type of thing I'm talking about here is that when you aren't "demonstrated value" in some logical way, you might feel this sort of uneasy anxiousness where you feel like you have to be DOING SOMETHING.

You don't realize that a girl could like - you - just - for - you.

But the truth is............ THEY CAN.

Oftentimes it's the fact that you're RESISTING from qualifying yourself that makes you stand out from other guys.

So go out this weekend and try it out. Post a field report on RSD Nation if you're interested, and we'll offer any feedback that we can.

Remember that if you believe in yourself, the girls will believe it to.

In the meantime, I still have a lot of work to do on my own skillset, and I'll keep you guys updated as it progresses.


Tyler

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

dude this is awesome, for me this is the best post to read. its like i needed permision not to do anything amazing and just be my amazing self. im posting a fr tommorow.

also i use the claw all the time in daygame its the best way to stop a moving one set it always works. they never get mad they just stop.

killthemquick

Dan said...

It's funny how other seduction companies talk about concepts and how everyone is SO AMAZED AND ASTONISHED at how INCREIDBLY POWERFUL their techniques are... citing all the usual marketing shit... and then we have Tyler who tells it how it is... it's REAL. The way it should be.

I'm always excited when I see a new blog post... they're just too inspiring and motivating to let pass.

Good stuff mate =o)

Dharsant

Anonymous said...

AHHH this post is super awesome. I've long SUSPECTED what you've written to be true. That girls can like you for who you are and that you aren't required to do anything consciously. A deep part of me has always resented the idea that I need to PERFORM for girls to get them to like me. It's internal shit. All of it. Internal. If you believe in yourself, you project it outward. It's a cue for other people to believe in you and follow you.

This is a fucking A+ post and I am super glad to see you posting this Tyler. I'd always believed the things you typed in this post and strongly suspected them to be the case, but I'd always held myself back from *fully* committing to these beliefs and *fully* internalizing them because, well, nearly everybody in the PU community disagreed and insisted that in order for girls to like me, I'd have to DO something.

However, in the summer of 2005 I was blown away at the fact that for a period of 3 months, I basically made a pact with myself that I couldn't have sex. So therefore I didn't even try. I took a break from the PU community. So when I interacted with girls, there was no neediness. And I consciously *did* NOTHING. Lo and behold I noticed incredible attraction and it shattered my reality, because I thought this was impossible.

I posted my experiences on another seduction site, and people said things like "Well, it must be because you're very goodlooking (i'm not)." Or "Well obviously this only works for you because you've already done 10000 approaches and you've already internalized how to be cool (I didn't do tons of approaches, maybe 100-200).

Nobody wanted to accept that this was true.

I am so glad you, Tyler-- a guy whose rationality and objectivity I respect-- I am so glad you're confirming these beliefs for me. I feel totally at ease knowing that these thoughts I've been having that "Girls can like me for me" were well-founded and not irrational.

Props for this mega awesome post A++++++++

-Chance

The Now said...

Excellent post as always Tyler. With each one I get more of a feel of your game and how to emulate it.

By the way, please do not dumb down The Blueprint to appeal to the masses as other seduction companies have done with their material.

Thanks!

The Now said...

ALSO:

I think posts like this are very useful because they define a place where a lot of guys are (scrambling for things to do to qualify themselves) and then demonstrates the place where you should be (believing that girls will like you for who you are)

This is key because people can relate to it and then be shown where to go. Kinda like pacing and leading.

Hawk aka MunichHawk said...

Hey Tyler,

good as always.
But I´ve got a few question:
Do you still have a gameplan or sturcture you follow.
How do you exactly qualify the girls?

and when do you do tihs video of you doing the claw as promised???
Still waiting. :-)

Anonymous said...

Still waiting for a video of the claw...

Sting said...

Hi TD,

from my experience - there'll be days when your on - ON. and you can feel that everything will be okay - and it just works out that way. Outer game regardless.

It must be something about being totally alligned internally, at that moment.
But how to go about reaching a point where thats just how it is all the time, they way you seemed to have done? thats the million dollar question.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

Sting

Anonymous said...

I feel like this is the direction the community needs to go now. RSD, you guys are doing BIG THANGS!

Max said...

Tyler I think we can extend the "I need routines, and other 'attraction spikes'" to include feeling like it is necessary to act overly playful/entertaining/talkative... even when you came out with the more natural approach, I stopped using routines and such but I still felt I needed to be entertaining to fill in for the LACK of deservedness... or the lack of belief I had that girls would like me for ME.

Oftentimes, I have held back from approaching/calling a girl because I felt I wouldn't be entertaining enough... especially early in courtship, I never thought just being chilled out would work...

the now said...

hey Sting,

Being 'in state' is all about being in the moment. Read the Power of Now and with practice you'll be able to put your self 'into state' at the flick of a switch.

I'm not kidding!

Max said...

This is very Taoist as well...

Sting said...

The Now,
thanks, man, appreciate it. will give it a look.

cheers,
Sting

Anonymous said...

Obvious for some. oblivious to others.


nathan

p.s. Ain't Tim the shit? I've never seen someone own a place like Tim did in Sweden.

Anonymous said...

It's funny how the community was all against beeing yourself and now it came full circle and we get the posts like this. Great job, as always

Jonathan Ashton said...

"What turns meetings into relationships is that which you feel about yourself, your objective in meeting a woman, and what you say to the woman/women that you meet. Therefore, if you feel such 'n such about yourself, or some part of yourself, that idea IS going to be, with rare exceptions, picked up, seen and agreed to by her. So too your objective."

- Svengali, ASF

Tyler: If you have any thoughts on HOW others can get to this place where you believe in yourself that strongly (besides reading "The Power of Now"), I hope you'll do a post on it.

Jonathan

Anonymous said...

It's really nice to see how down to earth Tyler is (the part about him wussying out with the Swinggcat opener). I mean alot of guys from my lair wanna act like they're supa PUAs and super duper alpha and can do anything and pick up any chick. But that's not realistic.

Anyway, good stuff as usual.

-DK

Anonymous said...

so we just need CONFIDENCE then?

Max said...

Tyler you are on TOP of the seduction world...

razorlicious said...

"Just be cool and escalate".

Anonymous said...

Great post man. It's fascinating to hear about the developments in your personal game, or non-game. 80s Dog Opener...shit...classic opinion opener.

ITotem said...

This post truly show how well you are developing your game towards natural game.

I read about your claw opener on a different site and I think it's great! What it really does is force the girl to commit to the interaction right away. As such, she has to assume you have good value because only high value people allow themselves to be so direct and honest.

This is very basic fundamental approach in Juggler Method and theApproach's VAC model. In the end, all seduction companies teach the same thing. I think it's just worded differently.

$Matteo said...

haha! I remember when you accused me of Octopus game in Montreal.. I'm happy to see you've come full circle!

BTW, Bear Paw game tends to work a little bit better than the Claw. ;)

Anonymous said...

props to your blog . i love it :)

on the community you wrote a little something about "success barriers".

I REALLY can connect with that and i wonder how do u deal with it? its some really weird stuff . :S

Anonymous said...

i've tried the claw in the supermarket, it has worked on every chick i've tried it on (6 or 7), they are all friendly + open + smiling just like me. thanks tyler

peanut

CraC said...

i did the pounce and stare
super fun...and it worked too..
be in the moment..and girls can like me just for me.