Saturday, May 05, 2007

Unveiling............ The Nick Chan Opener

The Nick Chan opener cannot be stopped.

That's right, if you learn the power of the Nick Chan opener it may be the *last* opener you ever need, rendering all other openers one hundred percent *obselete* (with the exception of "THE CLAW", "THE POUNCE", and the "HANG LOOSE" -- which together form the "TRIPLE THREAT" and can never be destroyed).

You may see other guys in the club, and they may appear cooler or more confident than you, but watch them crumble at your feet when you bust out the Nick Chan Opener.

Here's how it goes, done with your buddy..........

YOU: Hey, do you know who this is??

HER: Ummm, what??


HER: Hahaha... OK, hello Nick Chan.

YOU: What are you doing? You can't talk to him like that. This is NICK CHAN.

HER: Oh God, no, please let me talk to Nick Chan....

YOU: Have you not seen "Dragon Strike 6"?? Dude, show her the "heart-attack" move.... (Buddy does the move where he rips your heart out of your chest, similar to "Mola Ram" from the movie "Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom" -- eating the heart is optional...)


You then proceed to allow her to talk to your buddy.

Remember that Nick Chan also has a variety of sexy moves, dances, and high-fives and such.

If he tries to make out and she's on the fence, you can say "Hey you can't just make out with Nick Chan like that..... What are you doing??" and watch as she melts instantly.

Or if she has any kind of congruence-test for Nick Chan, all you have to say is "Hey you can't say that shit to NICK CHAN!!" and it's instantly blown away.

Nick Chan is always the hottest guy in the club. Point blank PERIOD.



Ace said...

Oh geez...I'm actually gonna use that. I have no clue how this is gonna turn out.

Besides Chan-Tastic!

leo. said...

Awesome, I'll use it tonite.. yeah, I'm pretty sure that my buddy will have at least A threesome!

Bio said...

hahahahaha.....i dont even know who Nick Chan is but i feel a overwhelming respect for him.

I dont think he holds water to my friend Chuck Norris though.

Its a well know historical fact that The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

Anonymous said...

Love it!


Nilatak said...

Ha ha...this is kinda dorky!

~Shazam~ said...

Hahahaha that's awesome. I'm Nick Chan, Bitch!

Dan said...

DUDE... you can't give this shit away for free!?!?!

I'd buy this in ebook form

Matt said...

Will try tonight on Cinco De Mayo...

Girls buying temps should be pretty high anyway.

-Nick Chan

Anonymous said...

Lovin' it! Funny stuff!

Anonymous said...

this is a joke right?

Biggie said...

finally what I needed to get 100% game. Thx TD now my game is complete!

Anonymous said...

I seriously hope this is a joke?

Anonymous said...

this is the very reason why tyler is everyone's favorite guru! no big bad pooah out there -except for sinn perhaps- can step up to this....crazy..

that short funny shit is having so much game in frame control, social proof, make her chase you, plowing through shit tests bla..crazy...thanks..

Adam G. said...

cool. very clever.

Sean said...

Well, that was strange Tyler.

Tyler said...

Yeah we were doing this all last night, and it was cracking up me and my buddies hardcore.

It's actually an inside joke from last week, when these people came up to us and were like "Do you know who this guy is??" -- and it was some B-movie martial arts guy with a pony tail. I'm sure he was a cool guy but the way these people talked about him was like "You should respect this guy because he could kick your ass!!"

Even weirder though was that when I got home that night I watched an episode of Alias, and who do I see as an extra who gets his ass kicked by Alias for about 12 seconds?? That guy from the club!!

Weird coincidence....

Anyway, I had to post the opener immediately because I'm 100% off of canned openers right now -- and if I didn't post it I know I'd give into the temptation to keep using it over and over because it's too funny.


Jeffrey said...

That was definately some funny, off-the-cuff stuff last night. And I have to say that I was loving my new alter-ego as Nick Chan.

What will be even funnier is if I see guys introducing their buddies to girls as Nick Chan. I can't wait to see it happen.

Anonymous said...


I'm so going to try this tonight, totally my style and sense of humour!


LBD said...

Did you guys recognize that it says "The Annihilation" on the cover??? Hmmm, I know that from somewhere...Anybody, Anybody?


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

lol Hey! You can't use that opener! Nick Chan will kick your ass, man!


Tyler said...

Yes Jeffrey, you are the FIRST Nick Chan......

Remember that with great power comes great responsibility... :)


Justin Time said...

I'm having an internal debate now.

I decided not to use any more material, but I know this would be hilarious to try out with the right wing.

The lure of Nick Chan is strong.

Sting said...

i had a similar experience a few years ago. a guy says menacingly/proudly, "do you know who I am?"
"I am xyz".

don't remember rest of the dialogue, i do remember thinking of the way the wrestler, The Rock, used to say

- "Is that supposed to impress The Rock?!?"


Anonymous said...

TNT just tried nick chan... it was fucking HILARIOUS (obviously we still need to work on our game as i wouldn't be sitting here KJing otherwise).

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA! That's fucking great!

Anonymous said...

hey tyler,

i tried out this opener today... it didnt work out to well for a few reasons, one of them being that my friend didnt know what the fuck was going on, so was just standing there completely gormless,.

the girls were just like, eh? really not understanding what the fuck was going on.

just then i saw one of my mates walkign past so i skipped off and gave him a hug :)

oh well, gotta try it again sometime deffo. this time with my wing knowign what the fuck was goign on haha