Sunday, August 19, 2007

"Where Is My Spaghetti Bo-lo-knees??" (Guest Starring Jeffy As The Obnoxious American)

So I’ve been in New York for the past few weeks and just recently I’ve arrived in Italy.

It’s great to be here. I’ve been missing Hawaii (and all my friends there) like crazy, but it’s truly amazing and I’m having a blast.

Before I get started on today’s article, I first have to say that the girls in Italy are absolutely incredible.

I can’t figure out if it’s the food or the fashion or some sort of blessed gene pool passed down by the ancient Roman gods -- but it’s like there’s so many hot women out here that being attractive is basically generic.

Like, "Oh, another slim, fit, tanned, natural-breasted girl with a gorgeous face and dressed to the nines… Whatever."

I’ll definitely fill you guys in more about this later…

Anyway, traveling has always been a massive and 100% crucial aspect of my creative process -- and by getting "outside the box" I’m always finding my mind being jolted with epiphanies when I least expect it.

One of the major epiphanies for me recently has been the so-called “slow food” culture in the restaurants out here, which is basically a big slap in the face to your average American...

...typically shifting around in their seats in a state of befuddled vexation about the “bad service” and yelling obnoxiously along the lines of "Where is my Spaghetti Bo-lo-knees?!! Brittney!! Brittneyyy!! Tell them to get my god damned Spaghetti Bo-lo-knees!!"

The Italians, like the French, oftentimes consider us Joe-Blow Americans (or North Americans in my case) to be “vulgar” and somewhat ridiculous.

On the surface this may come across as snobbery on their part, or even “hater-ism” about not yet having achieved the level of raging economic prosperity that we have on the other side of the pond…

Frankly that’s what I’d always thought, as I just didn’t see any other reason for the stereotype.

There’s really more to it than that, however…

Being in Italy really brings into focus the type of ill-ease that we have as North Americans, always trying to "Get to the future" and oftentimes being incapable of enjoying the moment for what it is.

Obviously Italy is still a country of imperfect human beings just like any other, and no country of place on this planet is without flaw.

However for me personally, as a North American, there’s an obvious difference.

The tongue-and-cheek statement "Let’s get to the future" is really what encapsulates the dysfunction and cancerous tumor of "More, more, more..." that exists in Western culture.

(It’s a catch-phrase that you never want to forget… “Let’s get to the future”)

The Fast Food industry is a classic example of our desperate need to get to the future…

You take a time of day that’s supposed to be a time-out to kick back and hang out with your family and friends, ramp it up to warp speed, eat the most processed and devoid-of-nutrition food in the history of mankind…… and you’ve got yourself a classic American Fast Food eating scenario.

The issue here, of course, is that when you’re always moving, moving, moving you ultimately lose touch with what it is that you’re working towards.

It starts with consumer driven culture that tells you the path to happiness and authenticity is through the achievement of the glitzy-glamorous lifestyle that’s pumped into your living room (with a little dose of ego-dysfunction, greed, and paranoia) en masse via the TV.

You then feel ill-at-ease with where you’re at, and feel prodded to either 1) keep moving frantically towards a lifestyle that would make it all feel “OK”, or 2) resign yourself to being a spoke on the wheel, watching life pass you by as a spectator on the sidelines… “cut from a different cloth” than the people actually playing the game.

It is an insane irony that while lifestyle and mortality-rates are at their all time best, self-esteem is oftentimes found to be at its all-time worst.

You see the pattern in full-effect when you’re learning how to be successful with women, and even when you’re on a “day 2” you’re still scanning the room for more girls to check out.

Or when you’re having sex with a girl for the first time and you’re already picturing different girls in your head in order to keep yourself “focused on the goal” of getting off.

It’s also when you feel a desperate need to keep bedding girl after girl (even when you meet a girl who you’re totally happy with… and who you enjoy having sex with *more* than the new girls you’re hooking up with) because you can’t get that feeling of “being in state” without more, more, more…

I know that in my case, I waded through probably the darkest cloud of my entire life, not when I didn’t have what I wanted…… but when I finally *got* it.

It was about a year ago, when everything in my life was finally *perfect*.

I was living in Honolulu, I had a great girlfriend, I was finally out of the massive debt I incurred at Project Hollywood, and the live programs were getting the best reviews of all time.

There was really nothing in my life to be unhappy about… and yet, I didn’t really make any difference whatsoever.

At that point I started to feel truly insane…

I started reading up on all sorts of environmental and human-rights disasters in the world, which while I now believe are tremendously important, also served a dysfunctional role of making me feel “normal” at the time.

In reading and studying this stuff with such intensity, I could feel that it was “OK” to be so screwed up.

I could say to myself "Of course I’m ill at ease with the world… Look at everything that’s going on!! Anyone who could be happy in this world is probably more screwed up than me!!"

(On the positive side I picked up a new passion in life, and one that I hope to pursue in my thirties and forties if I manage to make it that far… I’ve already traveled South America this year and I’ll be doing Africa in 2009).

Anyway, I can’t tell you what an off-balance feeling it is to be walking down the street on yet another perfect morning in Honolulu, knowing that everything in my life is perfect...

...and yet still feeling barely any more gratitude for it than the average schmo back where I come from in Canada -- trudging through a snow-bank on his way back from a job that he hates to a girlfriend who he doesn’t love.

I actually got to a point where I started experiencing a sort of weird vague paranoid that I was going to die (I thought about this a lot when I was traveling on planes… probably due to a nightmarish bout of air turbulence I went through on a puddle-jumper few years back) and on some level I felt like if I didn’t appreciate my life that I didn’t deserve to live.

It was like I’d been given everything, and instead of appreciating it I was just spitting back in the face of all that had been offered to me.

Even knowing this, I wasn’t really competent to change it at the time -- and I kept pushing harder and harder with my career and various skill-sets in the belief that I’d eventually arrive at some set of circumstances that would make the world a different place to exist.

Oftentimes I imagine what it’s like to be a rap star like “The Game” or “50 Cent” living in a preposterous mansion with all the cars and women and money and yes-men you could ever want… totally alone and confused at the emptiness of it all.

If you’ve ever seen the end to movie version of the awesome anime series “Neon Genesis” (where the main character is sitting beside the limp girl) -- that’s how I would imagine it.

At least when there’s still a "future" to get to there’s still a reason to keep going. It’s when you realize that you ARE in the future and you feel the EXACT SAME that you go truly insane.

I often see those guys in interviews looking very, very rattled and I recognize exactly what they’re going through.

There's an interview with 50 Cent on MTV recently, and you can see that his core sense of self (which is based around achieving the highest sales in hip-hop rather than the quality of his music) is about to be annihilated when Kanye West likely blows past him on the same release-date this September.

(Here's the link...

You can see that he knows it… And even though he’s achieved more in life than most will ever dream of, the self-esteem he has right now might as well be on the same level as a kid shoved into a locker back in high school.

Will it be the best thing that’s every happened to him -- as it starts a chain-reaction towards the burning up of ego and the achievement of self-esteem… or will he just bury himself deeper into a deluded reality??

Time will tell……

I know that in my case it was only when I escaped the deeply engrained pattern of ego-dysfunction (to the much more moderate version that I fluctuate in and out of now) that I finally started appreciating what I had in life.

I’m out here in Italy right now, and I’m actually starting to appreciate how much progress I’ve made.

I see the American tourists, pissed off at every inconvenience of being removed from their usual comfy environment… Rushing from destination to destination… Totally unconscious to what’s actually going on around them.

The classic example is how tourists will spend more time trying to get the perfect “MySpace” picture to show their friends than actually *experiencing* the trip itself.

I mean, how bitterly ironic is that??

You’re on the trip that’s supposedly what you’ve “worked towards” in all your financial endeavors -- and yet you’re more wrapped up in projecting some sort of “exciting lifestyle” to people who (in many cases) you don’t even genuinely like via your “*MY* Space” and checking it off your “tick list” of trendy exotic locals you can say you’ve visited…… than actually *enjoying* the experience of being somewhere beautiful and cultural and entirely new.

Can you look at Michelangelo’s “David” or “Sistine Chapel” and actually soak in the powerful experience that it is… or is it all about the social-proof behind it and saying to yourself and the world that you’ve been there??

Are you able to shut your mouth (and incessant thinking, judging, comparing, and interpreting) and actually *experience* it, or are you stuck in your head thinking about the next project and how to get to the “next thing”??

What I’m talking about is the difference between being an “authentic human being” versus a “shell of a man”.

Having just released “Transformations” (which thanks to you guys has been a big hit) I’ve also seen the odd guy who fails to “get” what the program is all about.

It’s that “What’s next?? What’s next??” tendency in Western Culture that spawns and breeds the worldview that the next “tactic” or “routine” will be the missing-piece and cure-all to being a chode with women......

...and so even in watching a masterpiece like Tim’s segment (where we’ve essentially *captured* the genuine “presence” and “vibe” of an individual who’s achieved total mastery with this stuff) –- it’s still being interpreted, judged, and compared through a noisy filter of "How is this going to get me to the future?? Where is the missing routine?? Where is my missing piece??"

(Even though they haven't even internalized all the other pieces that they've *already* gotten via various other sources...)

See, it’s when you’re able to evolve past all this, and move out of egoic-dysfunction and towards real self-esteem that real changes occur.

Changes in your life, of course…

But also changes in the results you get with women.

Gone are issues like “Approach Anxiety” or having to pump the girls with high-octane material to make them act attracted to you so that you can “get into state” and have a decent night.

Gone are issues like doing well with the girl on the day1, but then being nervous that you’re not the same “cool guy” on the telephone or the day 2.

Gone are issues like having to use a “routine” or a “technique” just to get unstifled and speak with confidence, humor, and conviction.

In its place comes real, bona fide “transformation”… As in “Deep, Identity Level Change”.

Of course, all this points towards a *new* paradigm of what it means to be a so-called “Pick Up Artist” in this day and age.

You might wonder "But... But... If I was already internally validated then *why* would I keep going out and learning to become successful with girls??"

It's a good question... and there's an equally good answer.

There’s probably 3 main reasons that come to mind for why most people go out and chat up girls...:

1- External validation.

2- Endorphins and emotional health from experiencing physical connection with women.

3- The knowledge that you’ve been successful in one of your BASE LINE and FUNDAMENTAL callings as a man, which is to have women like you “just for you”.

As you can probably figure, the first reason is dysfunctional while the second and third reasons are very healthy and positive and good.

I mean, this is ultimately a change in your MOTIVATIONAL STRATEGY here.

If you’ve been driven by egoic-dysfunction and the need for “more, more, more…” up until now, and you suddenly realize its unhealthy, does that really mean that there’s nothing left??

Of course not!!

It’s when you move past those old hand-cuffs that the world really OPENS UP to you.

You’re not only far, far more lethal “in the field” because you’ve moved past “outcome dependence” and your skills with women become dangerously sharp…

You can also actually ENJOY the fruits of your effort and parlay them into bigger and better things.

With the whole “New RSD” we’re seeing a lot of guys who had previously QUIT and RETIRED from the whole “game” (because they were sick of that old deadlocked pattern of going out to a nightclub and “value-scanning” and “trying to get validated” and “looking to the environment to derive state”) suddenly finding a NEW and RE-INVIGORATED interest in this awesome and fascinating area.

We’re talking about guys who had utterly renounced the game and believed that “the only way to win the game is to leave it”... and they're now finding a whole new, more profound dimension of value in it.

They’re going out and engaging in the enjoyment of OFFERING VALUE and DERIVING YOUR STATE FROM WITHIN AND NOT YOUR ENVIRONMENT… and suddenly going out is becoming an EXPRESSION of that inner self-esteem and success.

It’s really a beautiful thing when you can meet a woman and be with her and just enjoy that self-esteem together.

You’re together, and you naturally don’t find yourself in any of those ridiculous bad habits like “qualifying yourself” or “feeling spikes and lulls in your state” or “acting low-value”… and the buildup towards sex as a way to blow off all the chemistry that’s built up is just a natural and inevitable thing.

Just by "being in the moment" with her (minus all the pathetic self-seeking and drive for her validation), you’re opening her up to a hotter, more exciting experience than she probably ever knew was possible.

So yeah, duhhhh, she's going to be very receptive to it.

And you know what??

It all comes back to that simple, and yet so often overlooked ability to just sit down and enjoy a meal.

Because if you can’t do EVEN THAT… if you can’t be with people and enjoy the moment without being in your head self-monitoring and seeing yourself through the eyes of others... then there’s really not much chance that the “next thing” is going to be your missing piece.

Anyway, I’m about to go out with the crew and enjoy a plate of Spaghetti Bolognese...

Seriously, I’m not even kidding. The pasta out here is phenomenal. Maybe I’ll have some Ravioli instead, I don’t know.

I suppose I’ll have to wait a bit longer to get served than back in America…

Hopefully though, I’ll enjoy my friend’s company and the music and the great food… And maybe I’ll even focus more on the experience than getting that great shot for my MySpace.

Sorry for the delays on the blog lately, and thanks for reading!!



Anonymous said...

Yo Tyler,

Glad to know you are enjoying Europe ! I am french and wondering why there are no RSD program organised in France. Would be great no to have to cross the channel sea to attend a RSD event ! Have you ever been to Paris ? if yes, what did you think ?

Keep the great articles rolling in, they're gold ! Hope you have a kick ass time on this side of the "pond" !



Anonymous said...

Interesting article!
Was about time, though ;)

Nice and very true observations, as always.

P.S. please fix the link, it only
directs to some search engine.

Anonymous said...

Really good article, as usual....BTW, The interview link doesn't work

Gorgias said...

Awesome post. Funny how some of the most successful guys are the ones who need external validation the most, since it gives them the motivation to keep going.

I can relate to the part about getting successful and then not appreciating it, although not with women, yet. Always great to read your perspective. Please keep the articles coming, really valuable.

Btw wtf happened to Jeffy? He's all cut up on his hand/face.

Eagle said...

Cool. Sounds like you're enjoying your experience. I hope to go there someday.


Anonymous said...

Great article man

Anonymous said...

For a long time I always liked watching videos of the 'big PU dudes' just to soak in their vibe and I was really excited about Transformations.

And I find every time someone starts talking about tactics and techniques I just want to slap him. I'd rather just hear you guys talk about your day... or lizards.

I'm completely serious.

Paul | said...

Dude. That was an awesome post. At so many levels. I just found it looking for the keywords "social proof" (that's kinda what I blog about), and ended up reading the whole article.

Boy was it long. But you know what? I didn't notice. At least till the end.

Now you go and enjoy your Spaghetti Bo-lo-knees, will ya? :)

You made my day and hopefully my lifetime.

Anonymous said...

Been checking this shit everyday for the long delayed next blog post. PROPS on another BLOG. All your BLOG posts are quality. Never a disappointment. Never.

Frank said...

great stuff, I've been thinking about these things a great deal recently. Thanks for helping to solidify some of these things in my mind.

Stephen said...

great blog man. i strongly believe you're at the cutting edge of the community. and the funny thing is that the 'cutting edge' has been around forever. "Be alpha"!!! Only difference between us and the cavemen is that we have to be told to be alpha. Cavemen who weren’t alpha back in the day just got killed or whatever.
having listened to your blueprint talk recently i majorly respect you for the honest critique of the quick fix 'glitzy marketing'. as i see it, the difference between RSD and the others is that once you get past the flashy marketing stuff, you don't indulge the magic pill urge any further. It reminds me of buying batteries. It’s against duracell’s interest to sell batteries that people can easily and cheaply recharge. As long as Duracell keep the buyers dependent on Duracell for their batteries rather than giving the buyers the freedom to recycle their own batteries, Duracell will have a demand and a product. Likewise with the PUA community. If I set up a really mysterious special uber hypnotic trance-out NLP forbidden pattern company, I can maintain a dependency because my message is ‘I have what you’re looking for. You won’t be able to figure it out on your own. You need me to improve yourself’. But at the heart of RSD teaching is a mirror offering the student only a reflection of himself and a loud caveman alpha voice shouting ‘MAN THE FUCK UP.’ !
And that’s powerful shit right there. It takes a full cup of internal validation to actively discourage people from becoming dependent on you and your methods (or anyone else’s for that matter). And if I’ve heard your transformation story correctly, that’s not where you’re wounded self is coming from at all. You’ve changed man, and you’ve totally blown my mind. Thank you.

Gary said...

Wow. This is a must read for all aspiring 'PUAs'. I'm only beginning to realize just how much of a difference this shift of thinking makes to my view of the world. Inspiring stuff.

oneyeardeep said...

Awesome post Tyler. This one really struck home for me.


Matt said...

bro I am fucking speechless...
seriously, I keep typing something, backspacing it and trying to think of comment that accurately describes the amazingness of what you just said...


phi1 said...

The resentment you are talking about is connected to the loss of status in the world.

Many countries in europe had big influence in the world 100-200 years ago. Europe was highly developed, had many colonies in africa, america and asia. The US at that time was isolationist, china, india and russia agrarian countries. The State controled media was focused on the honor of the country.

People compensate this by emphasizing their culture and traditions.

Anonymous said...

Awesome article Tyler! The RSD crew should have its own TV show.

logan said...

has jeffy been fighting over there or something? with his grazed knuckles, and looked like a mark or 2 on his face.. hehe anyway, good read tyler.. makes me want to go back to italy and order up some big plates of spaghetti, and not to take pictures just for myspace.. maybe for facebook as well.

Anonymous said...

Tyler is truly the social dynamics genius of our time. this is exactly where I was and this article just changed my life. thanks td

S. said...

Very lucid and exceptional post - great linking of ideas, and something for many people to think about. I'm finding myself posting my praise because this is one article I've read that has made me really turn my eyeballs 180degrees around and look inside.

Luxberry said...


last picture is myspace perfect. haha


Anonymous said...

Hi Tyler

I m a huge fan of your work, ideas, and articles in terms of dating as well as philosophy.
It is insane how you have travelled full circle as regards so many concepts and ideas, which at a deep level are all connected to each other.
The substance of this article is so in line with Tolle's work on 'The Power of Now' and to stop chasing the future with your mind, and then to stop identifying with your mind all the time, and to just be and realise that now is what is real and where we are happy.

Awesome man.

Devin- Perth.

Anonymous said...

As a new guy, yet to sarge my thousands of sets I find it somewhat weird to read these kinds of posts, it feels as if you guys have beaten the game and now are on the second or third lap (like in a computer game), telling us that the view is no different than from the start. Maybe I should have gone for zen or buddhism in the first place, saving myself of all the work and getting peace of mind once and for all. :)

Giacomo Gutts said...

awesome post! just awesome, I don't know what else to say, I'm gonna reread it once more... nice

Deckard said...

Hi Tyler & RSD Team! Great to see you are in Italy, which is just next to my place (Austria). I realy would like to know, how you see things in Italy. Are the Italian men really THE great(est) seducers, many people call them? I know many girls, who get horny, just if they hear a guy speak Italian. What makes them so good with women?
I also wonder very often, why the biggest criminal organisations and families (Mafia, Cosa Nostra) were founded in this country, where they seem to have anything, good food, great landscape, culture, very good looking girls etc.

luppin said...

Awesome post as always Tyler.

Your a really great speaker and i totally agree with what you have to say. Self esteem is vitally important and is a MUST not only in the dating community but also in general living.

thenow said...

hey man

I think this was your best article yet. It really put me me into the headspace of where you were (or at least I think you were lol) at the time of writing. Eckhart Tolle style... wooo... :)

It's at this point in the game where everything else falls away - the tactics, techniques, limiting beliefs that stifle your moves and expression - that the game really becomes just ridiculously easy and blissful. I'm now finding ideas that previously I had shrugged off, books and material that I'd previously laughed at (especially material on being more direct with women and people and life in general), and finding great value in them now. My reticular activation system is going crazy.

Rome is a great city - especially the women who seem to dress themselves up just to go down to the local supermarket. On the flipside though, the society I believe is just as dysfunctional if not more than in the US and Australia as everyone there is crammed into tiny units though drives really expensive cars and spend pretty much all their money on clothes - to most people there it's all about how they portray themselves to the outside world. Something else which is rather funny is the juxta position of the McDonalds right opposite the Pantheon - LOL! Make sure you get the receipt from there as a souvenier :)

Hope you're having a great time over there.


Chic said...

Wow. I had that mania for value scanning for that missing piece, bigtime (still do, to a lesser extent).

It's truly fortunate that we have Tyler to continually shed new light on the journey we're taking.

As for the cultural thing, it's no wonder that American women have the stereotype of the sexy European man (beyond mere xenophilia), whereas, to foreigners, the archetype of the sexy American man is as a mere fetish object (the cowboy, etc.).

lol @ the pics

Jedi said...

Hey man

another wicked blog. Loved the shots of the J-man, good to see he still has that haircut i orginally gave him back in Oz.

Yeah, the whole rat-race conundrum - i dealt with it in my early 20's and got out of the corporate game because i didn't like the whole materialist mentality.

I've probably gone a bit 180 degrees on it since and realise it's good to have a balance of money, possessions and solid inner principles which ground your happiness.

Love the whole new-RSD philosophy too - i think it sets you guys up for the long haul.

Keep it up bro...

Anonymous said...

Fucking good post man. So money you don't even know it!

Andrew said...

The deep unsatisfactoriness of existence that you described when everything in your life was going smoothly ...that really resonated with me. Buddhists wrestle directly with this paradox - and have ways to deal with it. You might want to check out the Satipatthana Sutra and the other words of wisdom in the Upanishads. Basically, all of life is suffering, and suffering will continue to arise, and the only way to make a difference is cessation ...that is, learning to let go to the point that you are not bothered by the unsatisfactoriness and actually use it to fuel your own power of goodness in the world. Like turning fears into action, which I'm sure you are familiar with in terms of social skills. But this is on a more existential level, rather than a situational level.

Love your posts, man. Real quality stuff. What I appreciate about you is that from the moment you walked up to me and introduced yourself, is how genuine you are, how seriously you take all these issues of life, yet how you retain a sense of humor and an ability to make it accessible to people, and not so heavy and deep. What you write, in the way that you write it, is AWESOME. THANKS, man. Andrew T

Anonymous said...

Jeffy is a pretty convincing obnoxious American :)

Anonymous said...

Great stuff.

By the way one of the greatest examples for that feeling of emptiness is that episode in the Golden Boy manga

Where he steals for the girl so she will let him smell different parts of her body.

And when she finally gives him her used underpants

He realizes that there is nothing more left for him. Cause there isnt anything more erotic than smelling the used pants of that girl. And he feels empty.

Anonymous said...

So after all... what DOES build self-esteem?
Is it leading a many-sided, well balanced lifestyle? Is it taking concious control of yourself and your development? Is it just remembering how good you're off in the general picture when some minor event like a delay in the pasta supply occurs?

These are my closest guesses, I would be very very thankful to hear your take on it.


norxcontacts said...

Did Jeffy get into a fight?

Anonymous said...

This is one of the most relevent posts for me in some time. When i am on I am always in the moment not thinking about how to get to where I want to go.... but living in a go go go go society... in particular in New York City... it is difficult to see that I sometimes incorporate this into my game. I must stop and smell the pasta!!! great article... worth the wait.

Anonymous said...

Have fun out there.

Bigtime said...

A really good read man, thanks as always.

Chris said...

another amazing post - by and far my favourite blog. can't wait for the book.

Sonny said...

I am surprised no one has posted a comment yet.

I have always shied away from the "don't be externally validated" advice because it sounded too much like, "Don't try to get laid when you try to get laid," which for a logical guy like me translates to "...".

Now, seeing the #2 and #3 reasons for getting laid, I might actually be able to accept the anti-external-validation advice.

This is an amazing post as usual. I think people feel like they don't need to say it because the value it offers speaks for itself.

Anonymous said...

Why the hell is Jeffy all beaten up? His face... beside his eye... his nose... his knuckles... dude did you get in a fight? What exactly happened?

dert said...

A inspiring post!

I definitley agree with you, that it is a very pathethic thing, when someone is not living life, not experiencing life, but observing it, analyzing it, putting it on his digicam for a funky myspace site.

Also this modern society mentality of always being in a rush, never being satisfied, always looking for the newest product and secret to be in front of the competition.
This mindset is really leading down the wrong road.

But i knew all that, i was there myself and catch myself often follwing back in these patterns, but some time ago i met a very wise man who advised me to live a simple, natural and happy life and calm my mind. MAN i tell you its really hard thing in this society to live a authentic happy life...

Your post really inspired me, maybe Transformations is really a different community product, which IS helping one to get happy and internally validated and puts a end to the more, more, more mentality.
I think i will give it a shot! :)

Greetings from Germany,

Cucumber said...

awesome read dude...

i went backpacking for 6 weeks with my wing in europe and was in italy for 10 days

one thing i learned from the men there is that they have very little AA - they're ultra confident and aggressive. naturals.

maybe why the women sometimes have huge bitch shields lol

Jesse Lane said...

I really enjoy your writing Tyler. I'm working on implementing new writing habits into my daily life. I was wondering if you have read any good books on writing articles that you have gotten some good value from. How have you improved your writing? What resources?

Dan said...

This is one of your best blog postings to date.

This is why I keep coming back to your blog. In fact, I even purchased a copy of Transformations, despite the fact that I am engaged and not interested in the PUUUAA aspect.

I just wanted to put my word out there and congratulate you on releasing an amazing personal development product out there that ranks up there with personal power in the amount and quality of insight. Even if you don't need the PUA advice, I would strongly recommend this program to anyone that is interested in becoming a more effective person.

I'm sure you receive TONS of book recommendations, but I think this postings hits on many precepts and thematic elements put forth in Affluenza by John de Graaf. If you haven't read it yet, I think you are definitely ready to devour what's in this book, as it can really get you to question your motivations and begin to deconstruct your life as it exposes a layer of BS

Devin said...

Hi Tyler

F#$%$%^% awesome article. Wow, Italy- that is awesome man. Props to u and the whole RSD crew for putting out a raw and personal production (I just got it and I have just viewed 3/4 of Tim's segment) because this is the reality slap we all need- there is nothing more real than coming full circle in terms of personal transformation or in terms of success with women. Anything less still reflects a "hole in the bucket".
I love the substance of this article, you are really drilling the idea of being in the moment in- and so much in line with Tolle's work. Its really a waste chasing the future with our minds because we miss so much that is happening now- which is the only real moment, by the way. It begs the question of when "happiness may be attained"? Sure, just like the movie- the Pursuit of Happiness, you must chase your dreams, but if you cant enjoy what is now whilst chasing dreams then how will you appreciate what you might possibly get in the future.
Why is it that only during say skydiving can we really be in the moment, or when we are walking in the dark that our senses are tuned to the max instead of our mind?? What about all the moments of every day of every year of your life that you miss being a part of because your mind keeps you chasing the future or it keeps stuck in the past.That sux. Life is short- accepted in a lot of respects, but life can be long and beautiful when u enjoy moment by moment.
I hope this article reaches as many readers as possible, so they may find that happiness lies within. And I hope this blog finds more readers too. You're a good man Tyler.

Devin from Perth.

CraC said...

I really really really enjoyed your post. thank you, I am in LA and i think i just keep going for the More more more...and you might have just fixed that

Anonymous said...

Has jeffy been in a fight? He has marks over his face and on his knuckles!!

Was he beat up after hitting on someone's girlfriend? What happened?

Anonymous said...

Man, epiphanicious :). Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Phenomenal post. You have a great way of explaining your perspective. I love it dude.

jlaix said...

Don't be alarmed, fellows, I was not in a fight. I fell off my BMX whilst performing freestyle tricks.

I blame the X Games.

Mike said...

Hey Tyler,

Kat and I are missing you here in Honolulu!

Glad you're doing well in Italy. I'm so glad you posted that, and I remember exactly what you talked about regarding food in Europe - it's like that everywhere I went out there, England, France, Italy - you just have to let go of the American concept of "quick meals", and enjoy your time - because dinner is a lengthy event to be savored.

Some people can never let go of what they're used to, and they get frustrated with the amount of time it takes. And they never get to step outside of themselves and actually live like a European. So they really don't take much of the experience back with them, just a few pictures to post on their Myspace to prove to everyone how worldly they are because they went there. Ironic, huh? It's like visiting Hawaii and spending your whole time in Waikiki visiting the Hard Rock Cafe and Planet Hollywood instead of venturing to the North Shore, the Windward side, trying Poi, eating plate lunches, etc, etc.

I'm so glad you just went with it, and let the place have its way with you without attaching American expectations to it. This way, you actually get to live the experience, rather than just go through it. And this way, you'll remember it for the rest of your life.

I hope you get to explore as much as you can - see Rome, Venice, Florence, etc. And I want to see lots of pictures!

And tell me - have you become a complete Gelato addict yet???

BTW, Kat and I will be in Paris and Germany the first couple weeks of October. If you'll be around those areas, e-mail me, and maybe we could hook it up.

Looking forward to seeing you back here in Hawaii.

Peace, brotha.

Anonymous said...

i just hope you pwed the "amog" who made those scars on you face.. ( you look rougher now, its a dhv :-)..
and i just hope it was not one of those italian agrressive caveman.


Machismo said...

Great post, man, keep it up, i get a lot from it.

Anonymous said...


Jeffy's f***ed up face ;) said...

Jeffy didn't hit on someone's girlfriend... no wait. I'm pretty sure he did:) but he didn't get into a fight over that.
He did however hit on something else, ...asphalt that is, while he was cavemaning his bmx.
I guess he is currently filing a lawsuit against a well known videogame publisher.

Ahh, God bless America!

Jason said...

a vital life vitalizes

TabooTruth said...

I second thenow's comments. I'm not white, and I got some serious racism when I was in Italy.
The people there are also pretty superficial, with their fashion and image obsessions .

Despite other societies' "understanding" about what the purpose of life is, they are just as chaotic and crazy as us. The United State's consumerist obsession frees us away from many of the closed anti-human rights thinking of many other countries. I've been to many places in the world, and the societies that have "slowed down" are also the ones I feel unprotected in. You also have to remember that the vast majority of the world would come to the US if they had a chance. Some societies that slow down are also cool with sending kids to be suicide bombers.

This obsession with acquiring things/women and gaining social approval/status is genetically a part of human nature and necessary for our survival for hundreds of thousands of years. Marketers have definetely had their hand in messing with our heads, though.

While you can criticize people for taking pictures just so that they can say to others that they have been somewhere, be realistic. For the average person, EVERYTHING they do has some sort of social approval in mind beyond basic bodily functions.

That's why ego destruction is pretty much the only answer to constantly seeking social approval.

Anonymous said...

Tyler i need ur coat, ur boots, and ur magic pimp dust

Reading ur articles is like getting the magic pimp dust!


Robin said...

Nice article, but seriously... It's nothing new. The things you are talking about is pretty much the way me and most of the people I know was raised (live in Stockholm btw). And I can't help but wonder if the irony with the myspacy pictures in the article was unintended... =)

(feel free to reply to my e-mail adress if you want to,

Therion said...

Jeffy killed 2 bears in Europe with his bare hands.

Anonymous said...

So true..!

Anonymous said...

TabooTruth.. it s funny how you miss the whole post.. but how it s no one is laughting?

Anonymous said...

Hey TD, I'm not sure if you actually read these but I figured this was the only place to get a hold of you. I'm an avid reader of the blog and I love the soul-searching you've been doing lately. I just wanted to drop a tip that, if you're still up for a good read to "explore the religions of the world", I recently finished one I think you might like. The book is called "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis and is an extremely rational, clear-headed view of Christianity from square one that I found extremely enlightening. I was previously very suspicious of Christians and Christianity, but this book really broke it down in the logic I needed to get a clear perspective on it.

Also, one last piece of unsolicited advice :) : If nothing else, check out the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible (yes, the Bible haha). Forget everything you think about the Bible and just read the book. The author is a former king of Israel named Soloman who dealt with and wrote about a lot of the things I see you exploring in your blog, and it might offer some insight you were looking for. If nothing else, you've broadened your horizons and gotten a different perspective on life. Exactly what you're doing anyways, right? : )

Hope you get this!

Papa said...

This was hilarious. I remember those pics being taken and had no idea what for. Italy was so much fun. Good food, hot girls, and great nightlife.

Cedric, we are all planning to go to France next August (aug. 2008), but if you want a Paris Bootcamp, just contact Stu at +1 310 652 0137 and he can set one up now.



The Preacher said...

"Also, one last piece of unsolicited advice :) : If nothing else, check out the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible (yes, the Bible haha). Forget everything you think about the Bible and just read the book. "

I second the recommendation about Ecclesiastes: this is piece of writing that every person in the world should read; it was the most inspiring thing I have read, and I am not even religious. (I am even thinking of adopting the name "The Preacher" as my PUA name.)

Anonymous said...

Awesome post, Tyler. I'm really starting to realize how its all 90% inner game (aka self-confidence, self-esteem, relaxing) and 10% technique. I really loved these:

"The knowledge that you’ve been successful in one of your BASE LINE and FUNDAMENTAL callings as a man, which is to have women like you 'just for you'."


"They’re going out and engaging in the enjoyment of OFFERING VALUE and DERIVING YOUR STATE FROM WITHIN AND NOT YOUR ENVIRONMENT… and suddenly going out is becoming an EXPRESSION of that inner self-esteem and success."

You're the man...and I'm starting to feel like the man, too. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Good blog, I can identify with a lot of the stuff you are talking about here. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Did Jeffy get into a fight? On each hand he has scabs on his knuckles.

Dan said...

Those Jeffy pictures are HILARIOUS!!

Zirex said...

Great post. Love the pics.

Anonymous said...

bring back the hair dude!

Im soo cool!
every-body loves me!
my hair rules!
bitches wanna fuck meee..
cause im so cool!