First Big Gig !! -- Week Of Blasting The Comfort Zone

So this week I had my first big gig for 1000 people!!

I shared the stage with the people from the movie "The Secret" and various other awesome speakers from all different backgrounds. It was amazing.

My buddy Jesse hooked me up with this and said there was one caveat: "The audience is going to be 50% women."

Obviously I was pretty dumb-founded because 1) I'm NOT a woman, and 2) I've never taught this stuff to women within a professional context.

To prepare I sent out a promo to the email list in Los Angeles where I'd do a free 2 hour program for anyone who would bring a girl with them.

I think I must have had a lack of faith because I was joking with Papa that probably nobody would show up. But we had a solid turnout of about 50 people -- thanks to the 20 guys who had the guts to bring a girl and introduce them to this area of their lives.

The situation was absolutely hilarious.

Guys who weren't able to get a girl on time were out on the street pulling girls into the seminar. The girls who were brought in advanced were totally cool and comfortable but the girls who were met on the street were obviously initially skeptical (except a few who were super chill).

At first I felt off balance and disoriented, but the program was FULL AWESOME and I learned a lot.

For guys I spoke about how our paradigms in the game evolve, and for girls I talked about the games that women often play and how to achieve true substance beyond that in order to attract and hang onto a guy who has a lot of options.

I also invited the women to talk to me about their issues and we addressed them, which was really educational for me.

It was definitely a lot more, uhhhhhhhhh, "interesting" to be surrounded by a group of fascinated (and fascinating) women for Q&A after the program than my usual barrage of all dudes. :)

What I loved most about the program was that it wasn't a "Rah Rah!!" fest of guys talking THEORETICALLY about "hot babes" that they want to hook up with.

Rather it was totally blunt and raw (as always), but at the same time because it was 60% women IN THE ROOM it was more grounded in the tangible reality of relating to a girl on a level that escalates.

Beyond that, I felt like it gave a vibe where learning this stuff was natural and WIN/WIN, which gave the guys in attendance more than just theoretical knowledge -- but an actually internal sense of feeling super good about the material they're learning (as opposed to the "subverting the social order" type vibe you sometimes see in the PUA community).

The entire time I was thinking "WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG TO DO THIS??!!"

It's just so much more...........*REAL*.

Like FULL LEGIT and focused on the core of WHAT WORKS -- because the female energy in the room prevents the minds of the guys in attendance from deviating into "absurd theory land".

I could see a situation where every free workshop I teach has "bring a girl" as a being mandatory.

Obviously a lot of guys just won't attend out of fear of being judged (or inconvenienced), but it ultimately FORCES everyone to relate to women very directly when they're thinking about what it means to be attractive.

Anyway the program was this past Saturday and it was good preparation for the 1000 person audience which was on Tuesday.

At the same time, I could see that the material for Saturday's audience was NOT going to be adaptable for Tuesday's audience because it was so personalized.

This left me with a crazy amount of lingering anxiety over the next two days because I felt unprofessional and unprepared. My average audience is 50-350 of all guys, and teaching material that has years of polish on it. The idea of engaging 1000 people and half women with material being improvised on the spot was totally outside my comfort zone.

Regardless, I threw together a 90 minute presentation of what I THOUGHT might potentially jive with the audience and decided to give it a shot.

I sat at the back of the room with adrenaline surging while they introduced me to the front, watched as the big group jumped up for the standing ovation (despite having no idea who I am), and strolled up to the front.

With the sea of people I couldn't see the back of the room. The lights were in my face and I could see the big videos of me off to the right and the left.

I was so "outside my head" I didn't even really know what I was saying. The crowd tested me a few times and I just teased them down and got everyone laughing.

From years of interacting with women I knew all sorts of "hot button" topics that they'd find engaging, and obviously the material for guys had years of preparation.

It was soooooooo easy to break out the larger audience in laughter.

With a 50 person audience your humor has to be like a laser because people are more self conscious and many of the guys want to be "too cool for school". With a 1000 person audience the people are just waiting for an excuse to laugh. You can say literally anything and they're roaring in laughter and cheering you on.

It took me about 3 minute to figure out the "pattern" of how the audience responds and make the adjustment in speaking style. I'd never done a speech like that in my life. It was a totally different vibe.

But now that I've figured it out I feel like I "get it" and I'll never have to think about it again.

Anyway I was probably the most nervous and unpolished speaker, but at the same time I think the content of the speech was the most entertaining -- how could it NOT be with such an off the wall topic??

After the speech I walked back to the VIP room and felt my head and eyes pounding, as well as super nauseous like I couldn't eat or drink.

I think I was holding in a lot of stress from feeling unprepared the past few days. More than that though, I think over the years I'd been feeling a sort of repressed uneasiness about how a mass audience of women would respond to the ideas that are taught in Real Social Dynamics.

By communicating directly with women I realized that this was totally unfounded. Probably there are more GUYS who object to this type of material because they're rationalizing a life time of doing things WRONG than there are women who aren't into it.

(Obviously you can never please everybody or make everybody like you -- but bottom line is the crowd response was rock solid).

So from this I learned that 1) it's possible to do big audiences, 2) women love this stuff when you relate it to them with blunt honesty about where you're coming from, and 3) if you're willing to put yourself out there you can push through anxiety and adapt in the moment to produce results.

I take nothing for granted, but assuming I continue to work hard I know I'll be speaking to 5,000 to 30,000 person audiences within 5 years.

This was a lot like the first time speaking for David DeAngelo at the "Mastery" program back in 2004. Totally new and unfamiliar, but the experience that was a next stage in personal evolution.

The time and rigor has been put in over the years to prepare for this, so it's just a point of continuing to execute.

Thanks for reading!!


Tyler