Monday, October 06, 2008

OH YES It's On In L.A.

So. I finally did it.

Back to Los Angeles!! YES.

Leaving Honolulu kind of sucks. Waking up every morning on the ocean balcony with the lush landscape -- uhhhhhhh, it's a bit different than waking up in a condo with a hepafilter going 24/7.

But L.A. is where I need to be at.

A final six months or a year of non stop bootcamp to wrap it up (I haven't decided yet).

Then the main reason I'm here -- to be fully immersed in the classes I need to take to in order to start the "long walk" to mainstream crossover.

One of the big lessons I had already figured, and that was blatantly obvious speaking to the big guy/girl audiences last week, is that to crossover you really CANNOT take yourself too seriously.

In Blueprint I was all crazy intense which related to guys on the core issues they deal with. In the mainstream it's all about being laid back and making fun of yourself.

The past few years have been about getting the professional life together. Going from being a hotdog stand of kids trying to hustle into the limelight to running a proper organization.

Those habits worked to take things to this level, but the NEXT level requires a new focus stacked on top of the old one.

Maintaining the work habits and professionalism on cruise control, but at the same time, easing into a more ridiculous and laidback state of mind.

Realizing it's all just a fun journey, and the biggest joke is, well, yourself.

That means hitting up the improv, open mic comedy, vocal and media training, and taking more time to clown around with my friends.

This sounds trivial but I think it's so f__king key. You can't be rolling into the mainstream as dude who calls himself TYLER DURDEN the known PICK UP ARTIST and be all self important like you can in the underground.

"Hello. IIIIIIIII am Tyler Durden. Super Charm Pick Up Artist turned Anthony Robbins wannabe." Uhhhh, NO DUDE, go sit back in your corner.

It's got to be like "Yeah, I GET IT that this whole deal is kind of insane. But it's also pretty cool if you check it out."

It's all about connecting with people in a way they can relate to. Once they're open minded THEN you can turn up the volume knob.

You don't just pump your message like "bang bang bang" -- you've got to be fully cool with the fact that you're kind of a weird dude, because the circus of mainstream media is going to bring that type of energy towards you either way.

At the same time I think it's still good to be a bit controversial and hated on, like in the underground, to embrace it and not resist it. So it's always a mix between the type of dude who sparks an emotional reaction and strong opinions to keep people talking about you, and then simultaneously, still being able to get your message across.

Anyway this is a whole new deal, with a couple of new skillsets.

There's going to be some growing pains here -- but hey, there's nothing new about that one.



Patrick Shields said...

If you become laid back and relaxed, you will identify better with many in the mainstream. You'll be validated and accepted just like most celebrities. Is that what you want? Is it all about validation after all?

The "Tyler Durden" I know would make the mainstream come to him--not change himself (dilute himself) in order to fit in.

I respect and appreciate your decision to hit up improv and open mic nights. That's skill development. But UNDO-ing the insane work ethic you've built up would disappoint me. I don't know how any of your future products are going to have value if you're not as intense as you have been. That's what I like. That's why I plan on buying more of your RSD products. Because of your intensity. Take that away, and your nothing more than any of the other public speakers (except you've got the experience of thousands of approaches, which is still an advantage.)

Live up to your namesake, Tyler Durden. Make an impact in the world--don't become one of the zombies going through life in a walking daze, validated by everyone because they you aren't trying to change things.

Am I the only one who doesn't want to become successful so I can give up and retire? I'd rather keep going and pump up my intensity even more.

You're sounding like Timothy Ferris, when you should be sounding more like Gary Vaynerchuck.

Anonymous said...

so how are you exactly planning to do this? I don't get it, you want to sort of be a self help guy but based on your training/classes it almost seems like you are going for the are you going to strike that balance..and how will you market yourself? Dude, Tyler, I am working this boring ass job right now, seeing you do whatever the fuck you want with your life is inspiring, i'm not feeling this life right now.....

jASON said...

I live in LA my whole life and I wouldn't know that's LA from looking at the picture XD.
Day 4 Blueprint tom.,big T it's gonna be sick. Hope to see you at BC soon.

Anonymous said...

Awesome Tyler thanks for posting the blog. I totally beleive in you going into self help glory times ahead.

But.... are the chodes ready for RSD mainstream. I get the vibe of being laid back cool approach to it. There's alot of narrow minded peeps out there man.

Anyways dude I wish the best J.

Anonymous said...

hope you are still focusing on excellence and creating new content, rather than watering your great material down and making it chode-friendly.


Osensej said...

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Jordan Harbinger said...

Congrats on getting things shifting towards the next level.

You should meet Tony Robbins. He's a great guy and you'll really enjoy being around him.

-Jordan Harbinger

Deft said...

I like your thoughts on this new area youve been focusing on, yeah Tyler Durden I think is too controversial.
Anyway Ive been interested on self development for a while and your aproach on pick up for example is very rooted and aplicable, thats what I like, I mean I can listen to the blueprint and have "something happen" as to other stuff out there is just to technical and soulless.


Anonymous said...


I have followed you from the beginning.

You are an inspiration to me. The courage you have shown is heart melting.
You are the real deal, and the snowball is rolling hard man!

Fucking proud of you. Among other mentors, you have helped give me the confidence to put me on my path.

Never stop man, I believe you can change the world.

I support you, and am on the path up to the top, which is where the influence happens. We will be friends. For some reason I also have this massive hard on towards massive wealth, and I would love to invest in the causes you believe in.

Anyway, so over the dramatic speech now, but thought I would considering your latest entry sounded just like my last post.

Thanks for everything pal, we will talk soon!!

JD Mitchell

Anonymous said...

Best of luck Tyler..!

I thought you were moving to Brazil though..?

The Duck

Nico said...

Hey man,
good to see you on your path.

One thing didnt seem clear to me, tho: when you talk about "going mainstream" do you mean as a "general self-help" guy or as a dating coach...?? Because in previous articles it seemed like you meant optiong 1, but here and in the previous article it sounds like you're taking the seduction thing to the masses......

thanks, cu

DanMan said...

Dude, you're right, you are weird ;)
No seriously your ability to adapt and shift your style just shows how anything is possible for you (and can be for anyone).
Once again always keeping me motivated/

Anonymous said...

A recent quote that I read from someone who has been around in the spotlight for awhile, Clint Eastwood:

“Take your profession seriously; don’t take yourself seriously. Don’t take yourself seriously in the process, because you really only matter to a certain degree in the whole circus out here. If a person is confident enough in the way they feel, whether it’s an art form or whether it’s just in life, it comes off – you don’t have anything to prove; you can just be what you are.”

I thought the quote fit in perfectly with this blog post.

Anonymous said...

awesome news! ...for LA!

get the bootcamp schedule up quickly. i soo want to take a bootcamp with you!


Anonymous said...

By doing what you're saying, you would just be seeking validation from the mainstream. It's like you're admitting going into "clownzone" or "dancing monkey" in order to be liked. This whole goal of yours to be accepted is bizarre.

Will said...

Good stuff and good luck with the new path! I recently moved to LA and it's a different way of life out here.

Ben Collins and the Band Collins said...

Hey Tyler, great to hear you're finding new success! Seems like you're the hardest working guy in this industry, and you certainly deserve it.

Have you heard of a book called "The Art of Learning?" I was reading it recently and it reminded me of The Blueprint.

It's by Josh Waitzkin, a chess master and two-time world martial arts champion. The book is about his learning process, but he talks a lot about "presence in the moment" and other ideas that mirror yours.

It's almost like he accidentally wrote a textbook on pickup. Thought you might appreciate it.


Ryan said...

It seems like I always am identifying ways that I become my own worst enemy. Then, after I've identified them, you write a post that reframes the whole issue and make it seem so simple. It's an elegant way of intellectualizing the emotional. Thanks dude. I get so much value from the blog.


AlexofAustralia said...

Tyler, I just wanted to say, you're really honest. I think you're the most honest person in PUA and I have FULL respect for you. I LOVE the self-help direction you're going in. I really hope one day I can get my life going like you've gotten yours - a relationship with a woman for so long while still following your dream so unabashedly. High value blog right here.

Anonymous said...

If you are going to face the mainstream, how are you going to respond when asked the inevitable question... "Why don't you follow your own advice, instructing your students to be themselves, why do you call yourself Tyler Durden instead of your real name?"