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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Igniting YOUR Nimbus -- the FAQ


Eating at a natural food spot in Mexico... Yes, I look like a dork as usual.

Now let's get to it.

What is the nimbus??

The word "nimbus" is basically an old joke created by Jeffy -- refering to "having an ON night" or "being in state".

A quick look in the dictionary reveals:

nimbus \NIM-buhs\, noun:

1. (Fine Arts) A circle, or disk, or any indication of radiant light around the heads of divinities, saints, and sovereigns, upon medals, pictures, etc.; a halo.

2. A cloud or atmosphere (as of romance or glamour) that surrounds a person or thing.


So yes, like most RSD jargon, you're just taking an analytical concept and putting a twist on it for self-amusement purposes.

How do you create attraction just by "having an ON night" or "state" alone??"

Basically walk up, start talking, and hold your state while "self amusing" -- all the while progressively "escalating" and "pushing the envelope".

When she tries to turn her attention elsewhere, you find it funny and keep pulling her attention back to you.

Likewise, when she tries to mess up the vibe by being all serious or non-responsive to the positive frame you're setting, you just "hold your frame" and eventually she finds it more FUN than hers and gets drawn in.

Why does this work??

It's natural. Guys have been doing it for millions of years.

Basically it's just the way that things work.

Is it true that when you're having an "on night" and "in state" you can say virtually ANYTHING and it will work as good or better than using the best pick up lines??"

Yes.

How do you "get in state"??

You get "in state" via two ways:

1- YOUR OVERALL BELIEF SYSTEM: Your sense of who you are, outlook on life, the emotions you're generally addicted to, etc.

This is like the stable way that you generally feel from day-to-day. You achieve this via "inner game work".

2- SPIKING YOURSELF: Using singing, playfulness, games, bringing the party, etc.

This is an actual "outer game" quick fix that you can use when you're out.

It is still absolutely solid because it gets you the feel for it and it's something that even people with a strong state do anyway.

Why not just use canned lines??

Canned lines can be good for some people, constrictive for others.

I've worked with students who require them because they are linear-thinkers and respond better to a step-by-step structure, and others who stop using them and find it an absolute epiphany.

So do whatever works for you.

The whole idea of Real Social Dynamics is you aren't using a "cookie cutter method" -- but rather "being your own guru" and cultivating the ability to determine what works best for YOU.

The one thing I WOULD say is to be realistic with yourself.

If you're using canned lines as a personality shield to lesson the sting of rejection (because you can say "It's just the delivery of my lines") or because you're too lazy to get good at spontaneous conversation -- you're really holding back your longterm development.

OTOH if you find them helpful, keep using them.

So why do people use canned lines if they can just go natural??

What canned lines can accomplish is getting you "giggly attraction" from the girl, which then gives you a bit of validation and puts you in state.

Many people wind up wrongly believing that it was the LINES that got them the attraction, when it fact it was usually:

1- They said something that made the girls giggle.

2- The giggling gave them a shot of validation.

3- The shot of validation put them in state, which then attracted the girl.

Some guys will even come up with enough "lines" to keep the girl giggling throughout the interaction, which they rely on to maintain their "state" from open to sex.

So what's the "problem" with that??

There are two issues that for many people will crop up.

The first is that it continually reinforces that women like you for your canned lines, as opposed to "liking you just for you".

This has far reaching consequences to your psychology, the least of which that even after several years of approaching with canned lines you STILL cannot approach a girl and get her attracted just by introducing yourself (which I experienced myself, and was pathetic).

Think of it like "drawing washboard abs on a flabby belly with a magic marker" or "painting a thin veneer of game over your core, making you a more tactical version of your previously women-repellent self".

The second issue is what happens beyond the nightclub.

At the nightclub the canned lines can be fantastic. You use them and get girls giggling like crazy.

Once you go to call the girl on the phone, however, you are still in the habit of relying on "giggly validation from girls" to get yourself in state -- and so you wind up dropping the ball on the phone, on the day2, in the bedroom, etc.

As a result you see a lot of guys who study "success with women" who have really strong "opening game" but never wind up getting the girl.

Many also become "response junkies" where they constantly need to "frame control" people for reactions in order to maintain their state -- which can be socially abrasive.

Is it possible to use canned lines without experiencing these issues??

It depends on the person.

I think that some people have no problems with it at all, others have major problems.

Bear in mind that even opening a conversation with "hello" is still using a canned line. One way of looking at it, in fact, is that if you're going to be using canned lines ANYWAY you had might as well at least make them good.

The other side of the coin, however, is that when you've got the "nimbus" ignited using canned lines is like giving a pistol to the Incredible Hulk. It's just useless and redundant.

Beyond that, canned lines tend to get you analytical and "put you in your head" which is not condusive to getting in state.

OK so what are the big advantages to going "natural"??

What's amazing about the mind is that it is very adaptable.

By going natural, it forces you to get your confidence and state "self-generated" without crutches.

You will be AMAZED that when you have no crutch but STILL APPROACH ANYWAY that eventually your entire psychology changes.

That's because at first your brain tries to stop you by leaving you tongue-tied, but eventually your mind just slips a gear and says "Alright, alright, if you're doing this anyway I'll give you access to all that funny/cool stuff you have stuck up in here... Damn it man, you are persistant... Here you go!!"

And suddenly you have this FLOOD of awesome things to say to girls, all of which are more congruent and attractive than you ever had before.

This habit then becomes ENGRAINED from a few months and then years of going out, and your personality changes entirely -- or as we say "deep identity level change".

The result??

Imagine your best night of the past year.

Now imagine that you maintained that best night momentum on the phone, on the day2, back at your place, etc.

That's why this stuff has taken off so much, why so many guys are racking up success stories, and why we're seeing so many guys going home with girls during the bootcamps.

It also gives you an incredible authenticity in your day-to-day social interaction.

So when you see people who really love this stuff, try to understand that there's a good reason for it.

Isn't this just marketing?? Aren't you just trying to distinguish yourself??

No, teaching a "non-magic-pill" based game makes marketing a lot more challenging.

While people in the community may be open to it, most of the mainstream will keep asking "What about the lines?? What about the lines??"

Regardless, I personally respect every well-known teacher in the "success with women" industry because fundamentally they are teaching ABUNDANCE and TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY -- and this is a message that society desperately needs to hear.

Understand that most of the mainstream cannot distinguish between the various philosophies anyway. All they know is that we are the "pick up guys" and that we teach you how to pick up girls.

At some point if we decide to do more marketing and press, our initial message may have to look more like the magic-pill "first you do x, then y, then z" type thing because that's the only paradigm that most of the mainstream can wrap their minds around.

In the meantime, we teach this stuff because it's fun and it's what we've found to work.

Take it or leave it.

But at very least learn everything you can and try it YOURSELF before you form an opinion.

OK that's cool, but if YOU learned the game by using "canned lines" doesn't that mean that I have to as well??

That right there is the most common objection -- or excuse not to at least GIVE IT A SHOT -- but bear this in mind.

Most of the new RSD instructors who did NOT learn the game via routines have stronger skillsets than the "old guard" like Jeffy and myself.

Jeffy and I struggle to keep up with these new kids, and that's because they've had the "right software" plugged into their heads from Day 1.

That doesn't change the fact that Jeffy and I are more experienced TEACHERS, and also the higher-profile "figureheads" of the organization -- but guru-hype aside the guys we've trained as instructors in the past two years have consistently surpassed us.

OK I am scared of routines. I will not use them anymore.

NO!!

Again, the whole point of RSD is to "Be your own guru".

Sometimes guys on bootcamps will try to "bond" with me on the topic that they dislike routines, but they do not UNDERSTAND routines nor have they TRIED routines.

Don't just parrot back what you heard from this blog, otherwise "social conditioning" just becomes "RSD conditioning" -- the same mindless avoidance of THINKING that you were engaging in previously.

Go out and make your own decisions. I just teach based on my own experience. You have to go out and get your own.

OK, so does this "New RSD" stuff conflict with the older stuff like what's in "Foundations"??

It depends on how you look at it.

First of all, I created Foundations to be a straightforward program that teaches the essentials of "outer game".

I believe that tactics are still responsible for at least 20% of your success.

Stuff like how to open properly, how to deal with logistics, qualifying, setting up a day2 -- all this stuff does not magically just happen when you have great inner confidence.

Now you might say because I offered some lines in Foundations that it conflicts with, say, The Blueprint Decoded -- but you have to understand that different people come from different skill levels.

If I give NO EXAMPLES of ANY lines at all, many people will simply be too stumped to get out of the house.

As a result, any RSD program will always give examples of stuff we've said in the past with great success. We may not make it the major focus of the program, but if you require it to get you moving then by all means USE IT!!

Then for people who are at a level where they can handle talking to people without a script, they can hop over to the straight up pure-spontaneous style.

Again it's up to you.

Alright so I'm starting to understand the "pros and cons". What are the main principles that I should start to look at??

Some big RSD principles are:

-The self is always coming through.

-Being good with women is not something you DO, but something you ARE (this is an old school community concept that's been around for years, which we've adopted with full force).

-Self esteem over ego.

-Offering value via self-amusement.

-Crossing the "indifference threshold" and letting go of the outcome entirely.

-Bringing the party.

And countless others.

You can learn about these through free resources like the newsletter, the forum RSD Nation, and the blog -- and obviously the RSD programs like The Blueprint Decoded, The Jeffy Show, Transformations, and Foundations cover them far more in depth.

Any last words??

Of course!! :)

I wrote this up because a lot of people have questions, and I'll probably put it in RSD Wiki and then update it from time to time.

The final thought I'd leave you with is that oftentimes in the community the "pick up lines VS natural" can spark a strong emotional response in people -- including a lot of fruitless arguing.

There are other schools of thought on this, including a lot of super intelligent guys who think differently from me -- and notice they're out there living their lives and having fun, not really worried about whether I agree with them or not!!

Look, if you feel an emotional response then it can only be that you're relying on OTHER PEOPLE AGREEING WITH YOU as a crutch for your own belief system.

You do not need ME or ANYBODY ELSE to agree with you if you know from first-hand experience that what you're doing is what works for you.

So forge your own path.

Have fun!!


Tyler

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

The hardest thing for me is to escalate with natural game.

Jedi said...

Nice man

good to see you still churning out the quality content.

It was weird. After i watched the BP, i felt like it was done. I realised i have everything i need, and that it was always there.

It's an amazing product mate, where tons of the lessons will take time to filter down. Then weeks down the track you will say, "aha", that's what Owen was talking about.

It's a lifelong product that can be watched for years, over and over again. With new epiphanies happening along the way.

Congrats on nailing the game mate. It was well worth the blood, sweat and tears on your behalf.

You're a champ!

J

Anonymous said...

I like your blog!

Algeristo said...

AWESOME POST! I LOVE this part:

"Alright, alright, if you're doing this anyway I'll give you access to all that funny/cool stuff you have stuck up in here... Damn it man, you are persistant... Here you go!!"

Patrick Shields said...

This helped me sort out those important principles in my mind. Thanks!

P.S. Liked how you offered the pro's of making your own decisions and then stopped, requiring the reader to actually make the decision himself. :)

Climax said...

Awesome post Tyler.
I'm kind of a KJ but this really pushes me to give myself a chance for success.

by the way near the end a sentence could use a quick fix :

"You can learn get an idea about these through free resources like the newsletter......"

Anonymous said...

REALLY good article Tyler.
It brings up a lot of topics ive been thinking about latley and explains them thoroughly.

thnks

Anonymous said...

This should definetely answer a lot of questions for people.

Really appreciated!

The Duck//

Travis Bickle said...

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I think the canned vs uncanned discussion has already been resolved for a long time. Canned material is just a "tool", with pros and cons.

That said, I think where people are confused right now is in the whole microcalibration vs "letting the self come thorugh" debate, as far as for creating attraction in the early stages of the interaction.

Would love to hear some insight about this.

mybirthdaypony (Anthony) said...

Tyler I am still trying to figure out if "reference experiences" are necessary for improvement and growth.

And hey, this is my own little secret on getting in state. If you guys implement this into your shit I'm fine with that: Freestyling.

The reason it works is because it helps cross the indifference threshold AND forces your mind to become spontaneous and thinking in the moment. It works so fuckin well. You can't be thinking about girls rejecting you while you are freestyling.
Plus it is fun as HELLLL.

Anonymous said...

Hey man, thanks for the update, I was dearly missing the blog. Personally, I don't like the FAQ format though, and didn't like this one too much.

Charlie Kilo said...

Tyler, I don't know if you realized it, but you just wrote this blog post in the style of Eckhart Tolle! Careful, you might be suffering from Tolle Conditioning! ;) Haha, such a ludicrous thought to entertain. :)

Sinn said...

Awesome post!

Really sums everything up nicely.

S

Lance said...

TD, you're absolutely on fire. Excellent blog post. It looks like you've achieved a high level in your personal development.

thirtyplus said...

I like this distinction, and I like the direction the community is headed in as a whole (if I had to put it in two words, I'd say 'natural game'), and I like your writing style.

Hear hear.

Anonymous said...

Looks nice, man.

Anonymous said...

I was glad to see this addressed as the 'followers' on the forum seem to warp the message frequently and put me off. Good to see this subject cleared up by the man himself and I hope the 'students' take note. Putting down another method doesn't mean you get 'it' by any means.

Anonymous said...

It looks like you decided to recycle Blueprint on your blog :-)

I guess you gotta write it anyway for the book, so why not here ? ;-)

The natural game is golden, for me the key to getting it was understanding "vibe". Which is saying anything with good emotion, which gets the job done.

After this, material is just a tool, useful, but nothing special.

Anonymous said...

Wow, this is awesome.

Seriously, if you told me I'd be reading this on the RSD blog a year ago I would have laughed and laughed.

Kudos!

Peace, K

Anonymous said...

coool!

Anonymous said...

This cleared up a lot of things.

Thanks a lot, man!

Anonymous said...

I see this as a "GUIDE to USING the BLUEPRINT"

Especially: Approaching without Crutches....t

hat is whats gonna get you the deep ID change.

fullcrum said...

Awesome - I didn't quite realize the distiction that permanent state is realized through the way you live your life. I think we were somewhat too focused on quick boosters that work really well. And they do - but you made a bigger distiction.

Maybe you could write a post on developing state through "inner game work" as you see it.

Illuminatus said...

Tyler,

You know I have been pissing on you a bit in previous comments. I thought you were bullshitting because "selling lines" no longer works due to high exposure, so you decided to sell nebulous inner game stuff. I have pondered your words for quite a bit, and now trust you are sincere. I now believe I am slowly beginning to see what you mean.

BTW, the Jeffy Free Tour was awesome, I was completely blown away.

Anonymous said...

I come on Tyler's blog and love what I read. I buy his products and love what I hear. I go on his forum and start questioning the whole thing. Think I'll avoid it and just stick with this. It's the message clean and undiluted.

Reggy said...

Thanks Tyler. Wonderful, wonderful stuff.

Anonymous said...

Hey man,

I like your posts because you are objective and take things from both sides. The inner game stuff is good and the basic attitudes you teach are really effective. I have used them in my own life, and I find that I am out trying to have fun trying to offer value and to get girls, the cool thing is everyone is better off for it...me and the girl.

I do think you need to teach more routines, openers, outter game...because it's hard to get off the ground with this stuff without more clear direction. Without openers a lot of guys won't have the courage to go out and try this. To all you out there I would reccomend using some of the RSD tools like the forums which have older material.

I do think I trust that you are real with this stuff and it's not just a sales pitch, but some of the stuff you said in your old posts on the forum fucking cracked me up, you were talking about how you were naming this Real Social Dynamics so you could more easily protect your reputation and sell the idea to girls, normal non puas even though you basically knew that this was a guide to get guys laid.

Anonymous said...

Been touched on here but you guys at RSD need to clean up that forum of yours. It's the most accessible front end of the company and what's to be found on it frequently isn't pretty. I'm another one who watches the products, loves them, come to the forum and finds a completely different message (or at least a twisted version of it). Some tough love's required on there to straighten it out.

Anonymous said...

good stuff

Bernardo Torres said...

I eat carrots and beterrrables. Tyler does it too. I'm feeling so much rapport right now. So much rapport right now.

Anonymous said...

I think I just figured it out. I knew the word nimbus sounded familiar. Its what Goku used to fly in Dragonball and Dragonball Z. That's awesome by the way.

Anonymous said...

what are you eating man?

Joe said...

The short, short version...

Nimbus = "in the zone"

CraC said...

the more experience I get...the more I understand your posts...

Be your own guru.

Rori Raye said...

Oh my God - How do we find men like you, and can you teach women to inspire this kind of thing in a man? What you do for men is what I do for women, helping them to essentially get "in state" (just love that name). Everyone thinks it's the words, but it's the vibe. And the vibe is about the "inner game," and yet, as you say about canned lines - the vibe can be completely affected by and enhanced and deepened by the outer game. Scripts are a great way to start, and cutting free of them is an amazing feeling. thanks, I'll be back here often, Rori Raye