Monday, September 08, 2008
A quick thought (and a strange story)........
About a year ago I was dieting down and took a "fat burner" for about 2 weeks.
Fat burners are basically pills that elevate your fight or flight response. I later learned they don't really do anything to make you lose weight, but make you agitated so you'll burn around 7% more calories by fidgeting and pacing around.
What was most bizarre about this was that during the second week I stupidly landed myself in 5 altercations in 7 days.
The final altercation, and last straw, was when I was winding up to lay out this guy who had talked a bunch of shit to my buddy Olcay (because his girlfriend walked up and started flirting with him -- which wasn't Olcay's fault at all).
I remember hearing the storming of the keen-eyed bouncers converging on me for about 3 seconds before they put me in a choke hold that almost knocked me unconscious.
Anyway the big thing I learned from those two weeks, aside from that taking fat burners is absolutely stupid, is that different people have a different "loudness" to their "inner voice".
Whereas normally I wouldn't fight anybody for any reason (because that's an old part of me I've left behind), on fat burners I found myself rationalizing and unable to think "big picture" enough to see how useless it is.
That being the case, I wondered, "What would I do if this was the way my mind was wired ALL THE TIME??"
It's easy to condemn people for being angry, but at the same time, it's worth considering that they might have a harder time dealing with it than you do.
Maybe when somebody pisses you off you're able to stay calm and say "This dude is being a fool. It's not worth the trouble to teach him a lesson. Let him figure out his life on his own."
(Funny this was how I was rationalizing it -- I needed to stop guys acting ignorant from doing this to other people).
But another guy might have a voice in his head screaming "FUCK THIS GUY!! FUCK THIS GUY!! FUCK THIS GUY!!" that won't shut up.
What I realized is that many guys who study success with women have the same type of challenge.
Some dudes get that voice that says "You're not good enough... You're going to create an awkward social situation..." and they just ignore it and approach the girl anyway.
Other guys hear it, and it won't shut up.
It totally consumes them and they identify with it to the point of thinking it's ACTUALLY TRUE.
Personally my inner voice has probably been pretty loud over the years (especially when I was a kid). I see things and feel them very vividly.
At the same time, this has forced me over 28 years to continually establish and improve upon what I guess you could call "pillars of sanity".
Whereas I feel emotional chaos very vividly, I've also learned the skill of keeping the inner voice in check.
I view it a lot like how Wesley Snipes has to deal with his vampire disease in the movie "Blade". Whereas most people will just turn into vampires if they get bitten, he's already actively dealing with it so it's handled automatically.
When the volume knob on those crazy inner voices (that everyone deals with to varying degrees) gets turned up, you have to have those quick fire laser guns armed and ready to zap them out.
That can be in the form of reframes, attitude, changing your physiology, and various other "centering" rituals that you've implemented throughout your day.
It's also about learning about the structure of your mind. Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth" is a fantastic guide for that, and really you can go as deeply with the topic as you're interested.
You've got to let the emotions "flow through you" and "run their course" instead of resisting and compartmentalizing them. I never cried since I was probably 10 or 12 years old until I was around 26 when I learned how to do it again. Since then if I get pissed off I just let it out quickly and get back on with it.
This has been a massive asset.
It allows you to take on situations of greater and greater pressure, and actually offers you the ability handle a greater load than most people could handle because you already have the habits in place.
I really believe that over several years you can use your condition as leverage to become a lot happier than most people, because once you've "got it down" the rest of your life is pure gravy.
Anyway this was really just meant to be a quick piece for guys on RSD Nation who post articles like "I'M SO INSECURE ABOUT X,Y,Z!!" or whatever else is ailing them.
Hey, we all feel it. I know that inner voice is messing with your flow and it's not easy to turn down the volume.
Instead of letting it take you over, use it as leverage to become focused and present on an exceptionally high level.
It will allow you to sort out your own life, and be an inspiration for others in the process.
Make sense?? Awesome!! :)
Posted by Tyler-Real Social Dynamics at 12:01 AM